All that anticipation has finally paid off….the summer movie
has arrived. In the form of The Avengers.
Roomie and I saw it this past weekend. There are already about a
floppityjillion reviews out there telling you how flip-floppin’ awesome this
movie is, so I won’t go too much into that, except to agree. And to say I'm already planning another visit to the theater for round two (and possibly three and four).
As
predicted, I felt that bittersweet twinge as the previews came to an end
and the movie began. I’ve been waiting so long to see this movie and I was now
so close to it being over. Of course, then the first scene kicked off and the
“bitter” faded away. As, in my excitement, did the higher functions of my
brain. I’m pretty sure I sat there, smiling, with a thought process akin to the
Hulk’s.
Avengers….Good.
And, of course, this movie also brought out my “why not me?”
feelings. I had that basking period after it was over, when thoughts like, I’d be an awesome Avenger, were flitting through my head. As I was
in the basking period, facts like me lacking any significant upper body
strength, or having the flexibility of dry spaghetti, or the marital arts
skills of someone without any martial arts skills, ceased to matter. I sat in
the car, secure in my knowledge that if only they knew me that super hero
squad, would be all, Yeah. Let’s recruit
that one. Sure, she has no real superhero skill set. But look at how excited
she is. We shall call her Raw Enthusiasm Girl.
Basically, I’d have the power of heart
without the possibility of telepathy. And I could live with that. I mean,
having an actual power would be cooler, but I’d be happy just to be part of the
team.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, this desire to be a member of
the superhero realm has been a constant in my life. Only last summer, Roomie
and I were waiting for our food in the Arbie’s drive thru and I mentioned that
if she were going to be a superhero I thought her name should be Little Green
Hawk. The reasons for this were three fold:
- She was, at that point, sporting a faux-hawk.
- I thought she should dye it lime green (she disagreed)
- Whenever I said Little Green Hawk, Roomie quoted Andy Samberg’s last line in Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist.
She asked who I was in this world and I responded that
Little Green Hawk was my sidekick. Roomie did not take kindly to what she saw
as a demotion (but, seriously, did she really think Little Green Hawk was the
power player here?) and the conversation devolved from there. It got the point
where one of us may or may not have threatened to throw a quarter at the other
one’s eye. This (most likely) empty threat prompted Roomie to declare my name
in this superhero realm to be Quarter Eye. Now, whether this name implied that I had
a quarter stuck in my eye for all eternity or that I only had a quarter of an
eye, I’m still not entirely sure. Regardless, the name sounded more like that
of a supervillain, than a superhero. I chose to embrace it. Not overly
difficult given the number of times I played Robbers
& Robbers as a kid.
I haven’t completely figured out the story of these archenemies
yet. But I can say that in a universe where Little Green Hawk is the reigning
superhero, Quarter Eye operates in a Snidely Whiplash-esque
fashion. Otherwise, that poor little bird wouldn’t have a chance.
If any of the Avengers happen to be reading this, please
know that I am fully dedicated to superheroism, despite my apparent villainy as
Quarter Eye. It’s really just about trying to get in the enemy’s head, so I’m
ready when it comes time for battle.
And, you know, you gotta throw the Roomie a bone every once
in awhile.
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