Not-So-Guilty Pleasures

Guilty pleasures. Everyone’s got some.

Those things that you absolutely love, but are fairly embarrassed by. When someone else finds out about your overwhelming affection, you’re quick to make a self-deprecating joke about it. ‘Cause then you’re in on the laughter.

But after all the poking fun is over, you wonder, Is this going to be my identifier now?

We all know this happens. You’re being introduced to someone new and the person doing the introducing is trying to be thoughtful. So, he throws in some inane fact about you, generally one that you would not have chosen.

I have a friend who does this with the absolute best intentions. Multiple times she has introduced me in the following manner: “This is my friend, Kelly. She really loves Star Wars.”

Now, this is a fact. I do really love Star Wars. No guilty-pleasure-ness about it. Just full on SW love. But the fact this is my friend’s only go-to fact – despite knowing me for going on nine years, during which time we have never even watched the movies together – shows that it’s hard for people to let go of specific interests.

So, all your friends now know about the guilty pleasure you’ve been keeping on the down low. You’re terrified that the next time they introduce you to someone it will be with, “This is David. Big Toddlers & Tiaras fan.” And then you’ll go throw up in a potted plant and spend the rest of the evening as that awkward lump in the corner.

No more, I say!

It’s time to take pride in these ridiculous things that we love. We’re all, as a rule, kind of weird. So, get pumped when someone finds out. They may not like the thing you like, but maybe they’ll talk about how every time they check out at the grocery store, they can’t resist grabbing the latest National Enquirer. It’s a great ice breaker.

In the name of full disclosure, here are five of my no-longer-so-guilty pleasures:

• Online Personality Quizzes: Can you pass up finding out “What mythical creature are you?” or “What would your Vampire name be?” Because apparently, I can’t.
• Archie comics: Love the whole gang. And I don’t care how many times my dad tells me to just switch Betty and Veronica’s hair and they’d be the same people, I will still pick up one of these every time I seen them in the grocery store.
• European Teen Groups from the late '90s: B*Witched, A*Teens, and, of course, Spice Girls, all hold a special place in my heart. Listen to any of their songs and tell me you don’t feel like bopping along. You can’t. ‘Cause your pants would go up in flames from all the lying.
• Made-for-TV Christmas movies: Seriously obsessed. Particularly since I only allow myself to watch them from the evening of Thanksgiving until the first of January each year. The movie schedules I have made the last few Decembers have been epic and, according to some, terrifying.
• Monogrammed Black Velour Jumpsuit: This wonderful addition to my wardrobe came from my lovely sister-in-law. It is the perfect loungewear, plus...you know...snazzy looking. To be completely honest, I almost didn't share this one, but then Roomie said I was lying to myself and the world. According to her, it's the definition of a guilty pleasure. Something I wouldn't have bought for myself, but love and wear around the apartment all the time. She talked about the frequency of wear quite a bit, actually. I think she's jealous.

Roomie wanted to in on this action, so here is her list, as well:

Roomie:

• America's Next Top Model marathons: "Marathons - that's important to specify. I don't just watch the show."
• Amount of Mint Choco Chip ice cream I can eat: "Make sure it's 'Choco,' that's the Turkey Hill brand. I have standards."
• Have read Twilight series more than once: She once hung up on me so that she could finish New Moon. When reminded of this, her response was "Not even a good one."
• Collection of late '90s music videos: "No shame."
• Bad sequels to dance movies: "Step Up 2, 3, and I'm preemptively counting 4. Center Stage 2. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Not really dance movies, but all the Bring It On sequels. I love them all. Also really hoping that Peter Gallagher's character in Step Up 4 is the same one he played in the Center Stage movies. Come on, Jonathan!"

Hope you all have a great weekend, full of whatever weird things you love!