Who ya gonna call?
Well, generally my answer to that would be obvious. But
today, I’m less interested in getting in touch with the Busters, more with the
Ghosts.
You see, there is very little in this world that I would
love more than to live somewhere haunted. With a friendly ghost*, of course. I
have always been against living with those who are vindictive and cruel, a rule of
thumb I have no problem extending to the spirit world.
I’m not saying that the ghost always needs to be a great
mood. Of course not. That’s just unreasonable. But I don’t want to have to
worry about possession while I’m trying to get the vacuuming done.
Also, while I’d certainly be happy just to pal around with
some apparitions, I’m actually in the market for a business arrangement.
Basically, I’d like to hire a ghost.
Who better to specialize in home security?
And don’t worry, my translucent friends, I’m not just asking
you to sit in the basement and rattle some chains. I would never think of
pigeon-holing you in such a stereotypical manner.
I am looking for a minimum of two ghosts to be responsible
for watching over the homestead at all hours. Vacation time can be arranged,
but there must always be one ghost on duty. The methods you use to protect the
house will be left to your discretion. Payment to be determined.
Bitter, homicidal, or generally ill-tempered specters** need
not apply.
If you, or anyone you know, fit this description, please let
me know.
~~~~~~~~~~
In other (somewhat) related news, I have a message for the governess: I know
you’re not crazy. The ghosts were real.
~~~~~~~~~~
Today’s breakfast recommendation: Boo
Berry
~~~~~~~~~~
And, finally….BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE!
* See: Casper,
Dennis Pearson, Annie Sawyer, Nearly
Headless Nick, etc.
** See: Chucky,
Jacob Marley, May, etc.
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