Remember when you were a little kid and you would tie a
pillow case around your shoulders and run through the house fighting crime and
being generally super hero-ish? I certainly do. For me, of course. Not you.
That would just be creepy. Which actually works for this party. So, yeah,
assume that I can remember your memories. Or something like that.
Okay, getting off track. The point is that many of us dressed
up as heroes, but who sent any love in the direction of the villains? Not me.
And I thought this was an oversight that needs to be rectified post haste. What
better way to do that than with a viewing of Batman & Robin? I mean, who better to inspire cartoonish villainy
than Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and the bizarrely inaccurate portrayal of Bane? This
crew made the criminal element that Adam West Bam-Pow-ed look like legitimate
threats to humanity.
Not that this fact should in any way imply that I don’t love
them.
Because I do. Of course, I do. I can’t turn my back on folks
who say things like, “Ice to see you!” and “Sorry, my vines have a crush on
you!” I’ve waited my whole life to be that pun-ny.
And that’s the beauty of this party.
Pick a
cartoon villain, any cartoon villain. Feel free to dress the part, but costumes
are not the necessary accessory this time. The puns are. So, once you land on
your alter ego of evilness, start coming up with the corniest jokes you can.
Try not to have a prolonged conversation with anyone at the party without
inserting a couple in.
One piece of advice. Try not to laugh at anything you or
anyone else is saying, regardless of how ridiculous it is. Unless, of course,
it is an evil laugh of purpose. But if you’re not letting out a cackle of malevolent
merriment, settle on a nice smug grin. Cartoon villains may not always laugh at
their own jokes, but they are certainly always aware and pleased about how
funny and clever they are.
Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:
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“Mammals, a day of reckoning is coming”
-
“I hate to disappoint you but my rubber lips are immune
to your charms.”
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“The heat is on, Freeze!”
-
“If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on
your Sunday finest. It’s time to feast!”
Tagline: Strength. Courage. Honor. And loyalty. On June 20,
it ALL comes together…
For a Batman & Robin Cartoon Villain Bash of your very
own, here’s what you need:
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Batman & Robin (1997)
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Volunteers to yell out things like “Bam!” “Pow!” “Wham!”
etc. whenever a punch or kick lands during a fight scene.
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Creative snacks. Have everyone bring something that
they feel their villain could make a pun about. (Ex. Mr. Freeze – Sno Balls,
Poison Ivy – Red Vines, etc.)
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Decorations: Create your own evil lair. Think ELE,
but go for a decidedly less cool vibe. Maybe a couple of failed ray gun design
schematics on the wall. Lists of your evil plans. Whatever gets you in the mood
to do evil that will no doubt be thwarted…put it on the wall.
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A group of folks who appreciate anatomically correct
superhero suits and/or fans of glaringly neon colors and/or individuals who
really, really, really want to be super villains, but aren’t remotely scary.
And remember, ABP.
Always. Be. Punning.
Happy Friday, all!
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