Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Flash Fiction: A Night Off

Hello all! Today I'm doing another Chuck Wendig Flash Fiction Challenge. This time I used a random number generator to give me a subgenre, conflict, and element to include in the story. I got the following:

Subgenre: Superhero
Conflict: Get the Band Back Together!
Element to Include: Flying Monkeys

Hope you enjoy A Night Off!

***************


           “Did you get my evite?”
            Darcy didn’t look up from her computer. “I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming it was a joke.”
            Lounging in the doorway, Anna sighed heavily. All of the papers went flying off the desk.
            Darcy closed her eyes momentarily before finally looking toward her visitor.
            “Sorry.” Anna winced, grabbing at the loose pages.
            “Why are you here?”
            “Lunch break. And you hadn’t answered.”
            “So, not a joke?”
            “No.”
            Darcy turned back to her computer. “Fine, I’ll decline and you can go back to work.”
            “Darce, come on.” Anna dropped the papers on the desk and flopped into the chair across from her friend.
            “Absolutely not.”
            “What if I said it was a matter of life and death?”
            Darcy rolled her eyes. “I’d say you were full of it.”
            “Fate of the world being at stake?”
            “Same answer. More expletives.”
            Anna dropped her head. “We need a night off. More, we deserve it. We save people lives every day. I mean, we’re superheroes! Who deserves it more?”
            Darcy flicked her wrist and, across the room, the office door slammed shut. “What time is it?”
            Anna sighed again, but managed to keep it controlled. “12:23 in the afternoon.”
            “Well, if that’s the time, then what I am is a human resources representative. And what you are is a librarian who needs to keep her mouth shut.”
            “You’re right. I’m sorry. We just all really need this.”
            Darcy rubbed her eyes. It had been a difficult year and it was no secret that the League’s morale was on the less sunny side of the street. Losing one of your own did that.
            “You guys take the night. I’ll patrol,” Darcy offered.
            Anna shook her head. “Lara and Jen are only in if you’re in too.” She rushed on before Darcy could refuse. “It’s not going to take long. An hour, maybe two. Still time for prime patrolling.”
            Were they crazy? “First time we were on stage, we were all struck by lightning.”
            “Freak storm.”
            “Which turned us into the same. And the second – ”
            “You threw up, I know.”
            Darcy laughed without humor. “I think you’re underselling it a little.”
            “Fine.” Anna groaned. “You got all up in everyone’s head and made the whole audience throw up, too. Not great, I know. But you were still getting used to your powers. That doesn’t still happen. It’s why you work in HR, because you’re so good around people.”
            Even just thinking back to those early days made Darcy mildly nauseous. “On an individual level or small groups. But I avoid crowds and you know that. So, we’re done talking.”
            “You used to live to play.”
            The twinge she felt only made Darcy angrier. She flicked her wrist, opening the office door. And ignored her friend’s pleas as she mentally pushed Anna’s chair from the room, slamming the door behind her. “Done.”
*******************
            They banged on her apartment door for a good fifteen minutes before losing patience. Finally, Jen walked through the wall and unlocked the door for the others. Darcy was surprised it took that long.
            She glanced up from her book. “You know that’s rude.”
            “It was either me, or Lara was going to rip the door off the hinges.” Jen shrugged daintily.
            “Apparently the subtlety of a locked door is a little too much for you, so to spell it out, I don’t want you here.”
            The other three women didn’t appear overly insulted, simply taking their favored spots around the room as they had done countless times before. Darcy made a point of not looking at the empty ottoman in the corner.
            A high pitched gibbering sounded from above and a small winged marmoset landed on the couch behind Darcy’s shoulder.
            Jen shuttered. “I still don’t understand why you kept that little horror. A guest sees a flying monkey and they’re going to ask questions.”
            “Yet another reason not to have guests.” Darcy drew the marmoset into her lap, lightly petting his wings. “Anyway, Lenny’s a sweetheart, aren’t you? It’s not your fault your creator was an evil mastermind who we had to imprison in the Arctic, is it?”
            “Well, this is enthralling.” Lara stood up to pace. She never sat for long. Darcy figured there was just too much power in her body for it to be comfortable at rest. “Now, get your fiddle, we’ve got a show.”
            “No.”
            Anna moaned. “Darcy, come on. One night! If there’s any vomiting, we’ll never ask you again. But, let’s have some fun first. We were gonna be the next big thing, remember?”
            “Yeah. Always such a high demand for girl groups singing traditional Celtic tunes. And do you really think our lives suffer from a lack of notoriety?” Darcy gestured to the day’s newspaper, adorned with a full page photo of their recent interruption of a bank robbery.
            “This isn’t about the League. This is about us. Who we really are.” Jen continued softly, “I know you were blood, but she was a sister to all of us, Darce.”
            Darcy focused on Lenny as Jen spoke. “We all miss her and it’s taking its toll. If we don’t find ways to recharge, we’re going to be worse than of no use to the world. We’re going to be a danger.”
            “And you really think that playing in some dive bar is going to stop that?” Darcy asked bitterly. “Stop me from lobotomizing the city that killed her, simply because I can?”
            Jen knelt in front of her, taking her hands. “We’re hoping it’s a start.”
            Darcy looked up at her friends, seeing their concern clearly for the first time. Her eyes darted against her will to the empty ottoman.
            She pulled her hands back and gave Lenny a little pat. He flew up to rest on the stationary fan blades. Ripping her gaze from the ottoman, she stood up. “I’ll get the damn fiddle.”

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

12 Angry Men, 1 Happy Girl



I don’t think it will come as a surprise to anyone who has read anything on this blog that I’m a big fan of action and fantasy when it comes to my viewing preferences. I like car chases and fight scenes and explosions. I love it if there’s magic involved in those things.

The first movie I watch when the holiday season hits is Die Hard. I may or may not have a history of dressing up like characters from Star Wars and I wanted nothing more as a kid (and, let’s face it, adult) than to become an Animorph. Give me some wisecracking heroes embarking on a crazy adventure where there will no doubt be a plethora of bad ass moments and I am a happy girl.

Which is why it sometimes surprises even me how much I love 12 Angry Men.

I put it on this weekend, while I was getting some stuff done around the apartment. I figured I’d seen it a bunch of times, it would be better background noise than something I hadn’t watched yet.

Foolish, foolish thought process.

It happened as it always happens. The movie starts and I glance over at the TV as the jurors are closed in their room. A little over and hour and half later, I’m shocked to see the credits come up and realize that I have somehow ended up nestled into the couch, complete with blanket.

I can’t not get sucked into this movie. (Yup, enjoy all those negatives.)

There’s no magic, but I’m completely enthralled. Nothing blows up, but I’m on the edge of my seat. The fights aren’t physical, but I still catch myself flinching.

It’s just twelve dudes in one room, arguing with each other. And I can’t look away.

Why?

The plot is simple. A jury must decide on the guilt of a teenager on trial for his father’s murder.

The overall stakes are clear. If they decide he is the judge has made it clear that the teenager will receive the death penalty. So, life or death.

And then there are the characters. I’ve already mentioned that my true love in all stories are always the characters, above all else, and man, do I adore each of these flawed fellas.

Every one of them has individual stakes. They each have a reason for the way they vote. They each have a reason they want to finish the jury process. Each character is distinct and each character is important. While Henry Fonda and Lee J. Cobb may be the ring leaders of the opposing sides, not one character is there simply as window dressing. They all matter. They all represent something. And at the end of the movie you remember each of them, even though you never know most of their names.


This is why I will go back to this movie a floppity-jillion times during the rest of my life and each time be completely engaged.

What movies do that for you?

Monday, October 1, 2012

Helpful, Meet Your Opposite



So, as I’ve mentioned, sometimes when I’m starting a story I like to use the people around me as sounding boards for my brainstorming.

Roomie’s not a fan of this choice (mostly because it's remarkably easy to creep her out). And as a result of the number of times I’ve annoyed her with my open ended questions, she's developed ways of thwarting me. One of her favorites is to list the names of books, movies, or characters that are tangentially related to what I’m talking about, while also totally irrelevant, and often nonsensical.

For instance, yesterday we had a conversation that went something like this:


Me: I’m trying to decide on a villain.

Roomie: I don’t want to be part of this conversation.

Me: Should it be the guy calling in all the money owed on the family home and threatening to throw them out into the street? Or maybe –

Roomie: What kind of fairy tale has tax evasion?

Me: No, it’s not tax evasion. It’s more like a balloon payment.

Roomie: What kind of fairy tale has a balloon payment?

Me: You’ve never read a story where the hero's journey starts to save the family home?

Roomie: That’s very Hansel & Gretel of you.

Me: That doesn’t even make sense.

Roomie: You know, breadcrumbs.

Me: Stop it.

Roomie: Ursula. Villian. Boomsa.

Me: You are the definition of unhelpful.


I'm going to leave it up to you to decide which one of us deserves the title of "poor, put-upon roommate."

Friday, September 28, 2012

Books: A Constant in All My Lives

Good morning, all!

It's Friday, the loveliest of all days, with all the possibilities of the weekend stretched out before us. Any plans?

I'm going to be doing quite a bit of singing and dancing. Which is pretty much my normal weekend plan, regardless of what else is going on in life. But this weekend it's going to be a little bit more formalized.

I'm currently in the ensemble of a production of All Shook Up. First musical I've done since 2006 and it's fantastic. (For all of you who don't know the show, it's based off of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night and the score is made up entirely of Elvis songs.)

Well, our director very much believes that everyone on stage should have a backstory even if they are not main characters. To that end, he had each of us write one up and share them with the cast so that he would have a better jumping off point for how he wanted to block us and who should be spending the most stage time with who.

Here's mine:


Name: Margaret “Peggy” Lennox

Age: 26

Job:

Peggy has worked as a librarian in the town library for three years, since moving back to her hometown. Once a week, Mayor Hyde performs an inspection of the literary works available, never failing to add more to the town’s extensive banned books list. Once the Mayor has deemed a book to be inappropriate for public consumption, Peggy dutifully takes it off the shelf, promises to set it aflame, and then proceeds to hide it under her bead. She’s running out of room, but thinks there may be a way to reorganize her closet to fit next week’s haul.

Relationship Status:

Single. She was once engaged, but her fiancĂ© broke things off without any explanation. This was a contributing factor to Peggy’s decision to move back to her hometown after her grandmother’s death.

History:

Peggy was born and raised in this small town. However, when the U.S. joined the fight in World War II, both Peggy’s parents felt it their duty to offer their talents to the war efforts. Peggy and her older brother were sent to live their maternal grandmother in Checotah, Oklahoma. Neither parent survived the war. Serving as a WAC in North Africa, Katherine Lennox succumbed to an outbreak of malaria in 1943. Daniel Lennox, a medic in the 42nd Field Hospital, was killed during an air raid a few days before the Battle of the Bulge.

Peggy continued living with her grandmother, eventually becoming a librarian. When her grandmother passed away, rather than moving to Topeka, Kansa, where older her brother and his family live, Peggy opted to return to her hometown. Her happiest memories were here. Of course, the town has changed quite a bit over the years.

She rents a small attic space from an older couple, Bill and Susan Sanders, who remember her family. Due to this connection they asked only for $20 a month in rent and that she cook dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Having now been there for three years, Peggy finds herself eating with them more nights than not and has taken to assisting in the upkeep of the house. They’ve become close over time, though Peggy doesn’t agree with Bill’s opinion that the town has improved under Mayor Hyde. As a result, she keeps her book rescue project a secret from them. She has, however, confided in two friends, Lily and Virginia. They were close as children, before her family moved away and reconnected as soon as she returned. Now they hold a scheduled Banned Bookclub Meeting once a month.
Overall, she’s content, but hasn’t quite succeeded in achieving the happiness she was looking for when she returned. Something’s still missing. She just can’t quite put her finger on what.

Likes:
-          Films (though she has to go a couple towns over to see any fun ones), particularly any with Marlon Brando or Gene Kelly.
-          Going to the high school football games. Doesn’t really care too much about the sport, but it’s one of the few places it’s okay to yell in public.
-          Silly putty. Finds it fun showing kids how to make the words from books appear on the putty when the mayor’s not around to see.
-          Hula hoops, but don’t tell anyone because they’re not allowed in town.

Dislikes:
-          Birdwatching. Susan loves it, so Peggy has spent many an afternoon looking at birds. It makes her want to scream.
-          Knitting. Doesn’t matter how many time’s she’s tried, she just can’t work the needles.
-          Horses. Peggy broke her leg once while riding with her brother. Now she won’t go near the animals.
-          Pickles.



Seems that even in my fictional lives, I just can't shake the book obsession.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Not-So-Guilty Pleasures: The Jodi Meadows Edition

And we're back!

During that last commercial break, we had the opportunity to ask the lovely Ms. Jodi Meadows - author of Incarnate and Asunder (to be released in January 2013) - what guilty pleasures float her boat.

Here's what she had to say:


I don’t actually feel guilty about any of the things that make me happy. But the truth is, some of the things that make me happy are kind of silly. Okay, here are a few things. Not counting books. I think, in this crowd, the book habit goes without saying.


1. Yarn: Oh man, I love yarn. If you know me at all, you probably know about the yarn thing. I knit. I crochet. I spin. I desperately want to learn to weave, but the loom I want is several thousand dollars and would need its own bedroom. So I don’t weave. But yarn totally makes me happy. I love knitting so much that last year, I knit Ana and Sam from Incarnate.
           2. Ferrets: I’ve been a proud ferret-wrangler since 2003 and I just love those goofy little weasels. They’re ridiculous, but very sweet and surprisingly sensitive. I love watching them play with one another, and learning their habits never fails to make me laugh. Todd the ferret has this thing about trash. He loves it. He wants to put it in his special box. (Which I’d also like to throw away but he’d be soooo sad if I did.)
           3. Punctuation expletives: I’m not 100% sure how this started, but I know it has something to do with my aversion to using common swear words. So I decided to use punctuation instead. Which is why you’ll see me using OMC on Twitter. That’s “oh my commas!” I also find shouting “bullcommas!” to be very satisfying (thanks to Agent Lauren, who made up that one for me), and calling people “asterisk holes” makes me laugh.
           4. TANGLED, ENCHANTED, and HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE: I’m not ashamed to say that these are my comfort movies. If I have a bad day, if I just want to smile -- whatever. These movies never fail to make me happy. The other day, I watched TANGLED. Then watched it again. Right away. The lantern part. *swoons*
5. Chocolate: The only reason I’d even sort of feel guilty about this one is because I’m afraid one day it will make me have to buy new pants. Most of the time, I just wear pajama bottoms or yoga pants while I write, which keeps me feeling good about myself no matter what my chocolate intake looks like that day.

If you (naturally) want to spend some more time with Jodi, you can find her on her website or on Twitter.


(P.S. Jodi, I'm totally with you on number four, though I've never seen HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE. *makes notation on To-Do list right next to "learn how to knit awesome things...or, at all"*)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Most Horrifying of Horror Stories

You know that part in the story where the beleaguered, terrorized babysitter finally puts all the pieces together and realizes that the calls are indeed coming from inside the house? Well, we all might find ourselves in that position soon.

One dark, dreary evening, the phone will ring. You pick it up, assuming it’s a friend calling to schedule a long overdue Quantum Leap marathon, but instead you’re faced with the enemy.

You won’t realize it right away, of course.

At first, you’ll just take the silence to mean that the call was dropped, but then you’ll hear it. A light scratching. The slight hissing of breath. The munching of acorns.

Your stomach twists, because even though you’ll wish it wasn’t so, that maybe one of your friends is just playing a cruel trick, you’ll know.

And then the chattering will start. But you don’t just hear it through the phone now. It’s coming faintly from the other room.

It’s coming from inside the house.

Despite what your gut tells you – despite the number of times you’ve cursed at fictional characters for doing exactly what you’re about to – you’ll move slowly, carefully towards the sound.

The chattering gets louder, amplified even further by the call you’ve forgotten to end.

You push the door open and there it is. The visage of your nightmares. A monster disguised as furry cuteness.

And it’s presence isn’t even the worst part.

This beast has got skills. Death-defying skills.

Just ask these Germans:


You may find yourself in awe of the Superman-like talents of the beast. Fight that. This is what they want. For us to feel fragile simply because we can’t jump four stories and keep running.

We’re in the trenches of mental warfare now. So, don’t let them get in your head! As long as we continue to fight, there’s hope.

Stay strong, friends.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Theme Songs


I’ve always loved theme songs.

When I was a kid and I’d hear the theme to a favorite TV show come on, I’d be beside myself with excitement. The first few notes was all it took and I’d go running to wherever the tune was coming from.

Once, when I was probably about four, my sister and I were hanging out with my dad. Out in the living room, I heard the theme for Sesame Street. Thrilled, I ditched my dad and went running. The little sis was right by my side.

Which turned out to be mildly problematic. For her.

See, the hallway wasn’t quite wide enough for the two of us to barrel down it at the same time. And in my excitement to get to the television, I may or may not have ALLEGEDLY tripped my sister, causing her to fall, hit her face into the molding, and bite through the skin under her bottom lip. If I was responsible for this (I can neither confirm nor deny) it was a total accident. I certainly would never have done anything to jeopardize an interruption free viewing of Sesame Street….or have intentionally caused my sister any harm, of course. As it was, we ended up meeting my mother at the hospital where my sister got stitches. I didn’t get to watch any of the show. But I did get to color. So, win some, lose some.

The point is, theme songs have power. Okay, not really in the sense that they can make someone bodycheck her sister into a wall – that’s on me. But, it can set the tone for a show. And when done really well, can serve as a kind of musical embodiment of the main character/characters.

Here are five shows that sport some of my favorite theme songs:

The Brady Bunch

Maybe it’s just because of the countless episodes of this show I’ve watched with my mother, but how can you not sing along with this? Honestly, I’d like to see every show put out a song that so clearly defines its premise. I would pay good money to get one for Lost.  


The Big Bang Theory

Both nerdy and fun, just like the show. And who doesn’t like shouting out “We built the pyramids!”?


Daria

I’d be sarcastic and anti-social too if someone was standing on my neck. Just saying.


The X-Files 

The Roomie can’t even listen to this one. She starts yelling, covering her ears and running out of the room. It’s actually kind of fun. I love that it seems fitting for a horror movie, but also has an otherworldly quality.


Angel
This theme speaks a lot to the character of Angel. It’s got a heavy, sort of gothic feel to it, which clues the listener in to the rather maudlin aspects of the character’s life. But it’s the last couple of notes that really makes this one a favorite for me. After all that heaviness, there is a short hopeful trill. It works so perfectly for a character who’s tortured, but still hasn’t quite given up on the glimmer of hope that he can be redeemed.


How about everyone else? Do you have any favorite theme songs?

Monday, September 24, 2012

Point of Origin



Sometimes my mind is very similar to an elementary school class. All these different thoughts clamoring for attention. Each yelling, “Pick me! Pick me!”

And I’m standing up in front of the room, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

This is even more true when I start to work on new stories. When I was at Backspace in May, I heard a number of authors speak about what their starting point for a story is. Some said location, the setting dictating what comes next. Others conceive first of an inciting event and build their plot around it. And a third group starts with the main character or characters.

From what I heard, each one of these approaches to the creation of a story can yield fantastic results. Still, I’m pretty sure that I will always fall into that last group. For me, everything starts with the character.

This may be because I have so many running around in my head (cue the men with the butterfly nets). All of these different individuals with crazy back stories that will likely never be used in whatever tale I ultimately spin, but will greatly affect the way the characters behave in those stories.

One of the greatest challenges in the process is deciding which one to choose. Which one gets to come up to the front of the class first and have his or her say. Generally, I’ll let a few of them tell me a few fun facts about themselves before I decide who gets to make a full presentation.

Once the final choice is made, I spend some time really getting to know the character. Inevitably, I’ll find myself thinking, Man, I’d really like to see how she’d deal with this situation.

And the story begins.

How about the rest of your writers out there? Where do your stories start?

Friday, September 21, 2012

Lunacy, At Its Finest


As we creep up on the first day of fall and the temperatures start to take a turn for the chilly, don't Fridays just feel a little....you know....spookier? Like maybe you should be fortifying your stockpile for the inevitable zombie apocalypse? Or at least drinking cider and watching Hocus Pocus?

I know it's not just me, because Lauren Grimley has also been feeling it. Particularly after she found out that the her novel, Unforeseen, is going to be released in paperback the Friday before the full moon. That's why she decided to host the Freaky Friday Blog Tour and was nice enough to ask me to participate.

You probably all remember Lauren from when she last hung out here, confessing all her guiltiest of pleasures. Today she's going to dish on all the things that push her to the loonier side of life. So, check it out and then come visit with me over on her blog, On Writing, Life, and Other Misadventures! 


My Loony List 

When I found out my book’s paperback release fell on Friday September 28th, one day before a full moon, I couldn’t resist taking advantage of it. Full moons and fantasy writers just seem to go together like writers and lame similes. And as a teacher they hold a particularly special place in my heart. Think crazy X 22 (the average class size) + teenage hormones, and you have my classroom come next Friday. Don’t believe the scientific studies that set out to disprove it; full moons make kids, and most other living creatures, crazy. And sometimes those kids and other living creatures drive me crazy (crazier?).

So rather than confess all the strange habits that make me crazy, as Kelly so honestly did on my site, I’m here to warn the world about what drives me bonkers. After all, those of you who know me, already know what makes me nuts, and for those who don’t, maybe I can get away a little longer convincing you I’m sane. Or maybe not.

1. Loud chewing. Mouth open, mouth closed, it doesn’t matter; if I can hear someone chewing across the table, it drives me nuts. I know that most people can’t help the volume at which they chew, beyond closing their mouths while doing it. I know some foods are louder when consumed than others. I even know that my own chewing is often audible. Still, the soundtrack to digestion grates on my nerves.

2. Odd! punctuation…in, emails; and other notices? I’d like to blame the English teacher in me for this one, but I think no matter what my college major was that weirdly punctuated correspondence would irk me. I’ve worked for two great bosses since leaving college. I admire and respect them both, but each has had a punctuation habit that I couldn’t quite fathom. The first was an obsessive exclamator!!!! (Yes, I just invented that term, but it gets the point across!!!) I think passion is wonderful, but one exclamation point normally does the trick…Then there’s the ellipsorator…Who uses ellipses like they’re going out of style…I can’t quite figure this one out…But I do know it’s a bit annoying!!!

3. Untied shoelaces. When I see an untied lace, I can’t help but foresee imminent disaster. Perhaps this is because I am klutz who couldn’t walk more than five steps before tripping over my own untied lace, or perhaps it goes back to my days working in a daycare when my six-hour shift was consumed with potty trips and shoelace tying. Either way I have one word for all you untied lace wearers of the world: Velcro.

4. Mysterious Facebook updates. Social media is the place you go to share your mundane life with your ‘friends.’ It is not meant to be the internet’s version of mystery theater. If you want to share, share. If you want to keep to yourself, keep to yourself. If you want to post something vague and mysterious so that everyone will beg you for details, you need to get a therapist to help you deal attention-seeking issues. Or maybe you need to write a mystery novel.

5. People with more pet peeves than patience. Okay, so I’ve just rambled on with an entire list of what makes me loony, but overall, I’m a pretty easy-going person. Everyone’s allowed his or her own loony list, so long as we understand that our pet peeves are our problem. Though I do occasionally point out untied laces to my students and gripe to friends about other’s odd FB updates, I don’t expect the world to change so I can be less crazy. If the world can handle my quirks, I can find a little patience for other people’s.

Hopefully this first Freaky Friday post was more entertaining than nerve-grating! Thanks, Kelly for having me.



Bio:
When Lauren Grimley isn’t chasing people around offering to tie their shoes, she’s writing or teaching in central Massachusetts. If she finds free time beyond these activities, she’s likely to spend it on a beach with a book and bottle of wine close by. Her first novel, an urban fantasy entitled Unforeseen, was e-published this spring and is being released as a paperback September 28th. The second book in the series, Unveiled, is off to the publisher, while the third is being dragged, kicking and screaming, from Lauren’s imagination.

Links to learn more about Lauren and her projects:

Personal website: http://www.laurengrimley.com


Twitter @legrimley:  http://twitter.com/ - !/legrimley


Links to Unforeseen and “Unknown” (a short from later in the series)

Amazon:
Unforeseen  http://amzn.to/Iyas63

 
Smashwords:
Unforeseen   http://bit.ly/KESWTO

Barnes & Noble
Unforeseen   http://bit.ly/M7v5MK

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Much More Telling Than My Being a Leo....



Who hasn’t watched a scene in a movie or TV show where some character unknowingly sports a “Kick Me” sign on his back? I’m pretty sure my first exposure to it was Eugene in Grease.

Well, Jennifer Colgan over at Killer Chicks posits that we’re all wearing signs we can’t see. Now, the signs she’s talking about aren’t hung by the T-birds, but are instead messages that we unconsciously put forward into the world. And they garner just as many reactions from those around us. 

I’ve known for years what my invisible sign is:

I WORK IN THIS BOOKSTORE.

Now, I have never worked in a bookstore. I did spend one summer working at a library, but that’s the closest I’ve ever gotten. Still, I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been stopped while perusing the shelves to be asked where another patron can find the book they’re looking for.

It started in eighth grade. My mother and I went to the mall after school. A mall that I loved because it had two bookstores, one on each end. I, naturally, paid a visit to both that day. And in both, I was stopped by people who thought I was an employee.

At that point, I just assumed it was because of my outfit. We’d had a Christmas show in school and I was wearing a white button down shirt tucked into black pants. It could have been a uniform. So that must have been it.

Except it wasn’t.

Since that day, over and over again, I’ve been asked “Do you work here?” more times than I can count. Once I was stopped as I was exiting the store, coat on. The patron had just barely crossed the threshold, made eye contact and asked if I was employed by the establishment.

With the exception of that day when I was thirteen, my bookstore attire generally consists of jeans and a sweater – nothing particularly uniform-y there. I’m not one to sport a name tag for the sheer fun of it, so that can’t be it. Never once have I asked anyone if they need assistance in locating a desired tome. If people inquired about my employment in other types of stores, I might just assume that I have a shop-clerky look about me.

But it is only bookstores.

It’s possible my reading obsession shines a little brighter in a bookstore, drawing people to me. Or maybe, folks just assume that anyone carrying that many books around must be restocking the shelves.

I’m not sure. But I do know that it’s my invisible sign. 

What’s yours?