On In the Line Mix Path Not Chosen Double Feature (Bad Movies/GoodParty Themes)

Hello all! It's been far too long since we've had a good party theme here. In the spirit of apologizing, I'm making this a double feature event.

What better way, I ask you, to spend an evening of bad movies and good parties that with two gems from the early 2000s. It was a wonderful time. If you were anything like me, you were rocking a boxy school uniform and hair that was far too long, while obsessively taping old episodes of Early Edition on VHS for after you finished your report on Lynne Reid Banks. Or, you know, you were doing other things. Regardless, it was a glorious period of cultural history.

How do I know that for a fact? Because the first five years gave us not only On the Line, starring Lance Bass and Emmanuelle Chriqui, but also In the Mix, starring Usher Raymond and...Emmanuelle Chriqui.

In addition to sharing punchy titles and a leading lady, these movies also have two main characters who both have shades of the actors who play them. Lance Bass' Kevin used to be part of a band, but now works in advertising. Usher's Darrell went from being a success in the music business to a job as a bodyguard.

This is what you'll be asking of your guests. Have everyone show up dressed as themselves had they chosen a different life path, zigged instead of zagged.

Rather than explaining to people who they are now, every attendee should write down on a piece of paper what their new profession is and throw it in a bowl. For the rest of the night, ask each other any question - with the exception of all derivations of "what's your job?" - and see how many can be guessed before the night is over!

In terms of prizes for anyone who manages to figure it all out, may I suggest used copies of the movies' soundtracks? Anyone who's ever felt nostalgia for the early twenty-first century will thank you. Anyone who hasn't....probably won't appreciate being on the invite list for this party. Leave those nice people alone.


Tagline (On the Line): She's one in a million. His chances of finding her again are a million to one.

Tagline (In the Mix): Everyone wants a piece of his action.


Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:
      - "I just want to be able to walk down the street without a ten woman pileup."
      - "Love may not make the world go round, but it makes the ride worthwhile."
      - "Italian people put red sauce on their macaroni."
      - "You're like the poster boy for the romantically challenged!"

Can you guess which are from which?


For an On In the Line Mix Path Not Chosen Double Feature of your very own, here's what you need:
      - On the Line (2001)
      - In the Mix (2005)
      - Container for guests' career confessions. This is where you get to scoff at everyone who laughed at you for holding on to the tins from your Altoids Tangerine Sours (or whatever early 2000s candy you favored). And they told you that was a waste of space...
      - Prizes for winners. Like I said before, soundtracks work well. Or you could just give them a piece of paper with pictures of Lance Bass, Usher and Emmanuelle Chriqui taped on, for them to doodle hearts around. Your call. (I know I'd appreciate either.)
      - In terms of food, I think pizza is the way to go seeing as the movies take place in Chicago and New York respectively. Plus, this opens up the conversation to which style of pizza is better, and there is really no truer way to know a person than answering that question.
      - A contingent of Emmanuelle Chirqui groupies and/or folks who love to wonder about what could have been and/or anyone who's ever hummed along to N*SYNC or Usher - which means you pretty much have to invite everyone you know. Hope your place is roomy!

Earth Girls Are Easy Time Capsule Extravaganza (Bad Movies/Good Party Themes)

What better way to celebrate both the first Friday of the month and the letter E than with some eighties entertainment enacting extra-terrestrial’s & easy earthlings’ exploits?

Or something like that.

This cinematic classic (starring gEEna Davis and jEff Goldblum) tells the story of three aliens who receive a broadcast depicting human women. Seeing as space travel has cut in on their dating lives, they decide to make a little pit stop on our fair planet.

Hijinx ensue.

And who hasn’t thought about the arrival of aliens at some point in their lives? Whether you’re in the Independence Day/Alien/etc. camp and believe that their only purpose is to blow us out of the universe or you lean more towards the they-just-want-to-be-friends mentality of E.T. and today’s recommendation. We’ve all thought about it. Are they coming? Do they want to serve mankind? If so, in what way? That’s right, I’m not just assuming it’s in a way that’ll be good for us. Fool me once, Twilight Zone…..

But perhaps a more important question, is why are they choosing this planet to visit in the first place? I’m going to assume it has something to do with things like the Voyager Golden Record and other like projects. (I mean, who wouldn't want to come somewhere that you can eat grapes in the grape aisle??) Well, I personally would like some say in what aliens know about us. Wouldn’t you?

Of course you do.

So, get a group of your best-ies together and play this piece of celluloid history. More importantly, decide how you want to be introduced to the aliens. Everyone should bring something they would like included in the space rover time capsule. But this isn’t an unlimited-space sort of situation. Only a handful of things can fit in the capsule.

Everyone has to make their best arguments as to why their piece of humanity should be included. Majority rules.

Choose wisely. You never know who you’re going to attract.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “As if things weren’t bad enough, now I’ve been abducted by aliens.”

-          “Well, I see split ends are universal. Lost in space with no conditioner?”

-          “Have a mental margarita.”

Tagline: An out-of-this-world, down-to-earth comedy adventure.

For an Earth Girls Are Easy Time Capsule Extravaganza of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

-          An appropriately sized capsule to contain all of your earthly treasures. I don’t know why, but in my mind it’s a popcorn tin. But go with your gut.

-          Table laden with all the runners for Capsule Inclusion.

-          Snacks. Always snacks. For this particular party, I would go with the foods that you would want the aliens to try first. Remember, best foot forward!

-          A group of time capsule packing experts to maximize your space and/or folks who are hoping the aliens have the technology to transport them back to the eighties and/or people who are ready to remove their tin foil hats and great our extra-terrestrial brethren with open arms.

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: Teenage Mutant Ninja Vs. Pirate Turtles (III) Battle of the Wits

Leonardo, Michelangelo and Donatello make up the team with one more fellow, Raphael. He’s the leader of the group, transformed from the norm by the nuclear goop.

I am an unabashed fan of all heroes on a halfshell and subsequently sang the above song fairly regularly throughout my childhood. Though, I’ll admit to being a bigger fan of Leonardo than Raphael.

And time travel? Who doesn’t love time travel??

So, naturally, when you mix the two together, you get something….interesting. Sadly, no Vanilla Ice this time, but Corey Feldman does return as the voice of Donatello. Win some, lose some, I guess. Plus, this one does have a magic scepter! Because, why not?

You know what it doesn’t have, though? Pirates.

Is it just me, or could they have used this time traveling storyline to finally put an end to the timeless Ninja vs. Pirate debate? Just have them transported to the high seas, am I right? Well, apparently they weren’t interested in a seven-year-old’s ideas and went in a different direction.

Together, however, we have the power to rectify this horrible wrong. So, grab a group of friends and divvy them up into two groups: The Ninja Turtles and The Pirate Turtles. Each group then chooses from their ranks, their Splinter or Speck (the young rat raised by a noble pirate who was killed by the evil Captain Shearer. Speck escaped, though had part of his nose cut off by Shearer’s cutlass, and later found a group of young turtles in the belly of a ship transporting nuclear waste).

Xander went pirate and bought herself a cannon. Meaning Willow, of course, went ninja and is no longer visible in any pictures.

Once the mentors have been chosen, the two teams will meet on the battlefield, AKA in front of the TV. This will not be a physical altercation, of course. Mom always said not to have turtle fight clubs in the house. No, this will be a battle of one-liners. Throughout the night either side will have to come up with the cheesiest, pun-iest comebacks against the other team. This excludes Splinter and Speck, who can only speak in deep, mentoring tones.

Every original comeback gets a tally (this means that repeating exactly what the person before you said, but in a more sarcastic tone, while hilarious, does not earn you any points. Still worth doing for the sake of being annoying though). At the end of the night, more tallies win and finally put to rest the who-would-beat-who in a fight argument.

My contribution to this great earth.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “Help! I’m a turtle and I can’t get up!”

-          “It just your, uh, ordinary time travel equal-mass-displacement kind of thing.”

-           “You’re turtles?” “Yeah, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety.”

Tagline: Ancient Japan, 1593. Without a map. Without a clue. Without a pizza.

For a Teenage Mutant Ninja Vs. Pirate Turtles (III) Battle of the Wits of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

-          Teams dressed in appropriate attire to reflect both their professions and their turtle-ness.

-          Pizza. Of course, pizza. Regardless of whether they fight with in a mask or a ruffled shirt, turtles, particularly teens, love pizza. It’s just a scientific fact.

-          Poster board/square of clean wall to keep tally of the zingers.

-          A group of early 1990s nostaligaists and/or folks looking to get all their sarcasm out in a safe space and/or people who are determined to put the pirate/ninja question to bed, once and for all.

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: Grind Super Bowl Garage Sale

Well, it’s Superbowl weekend! Which is super exciting if you’re a fan of the two teams playing or of football in general.

I, personally, don’t happen to be such a fan, but am friends with many such folks. So, why not throw a Superbowl party? Only one that doesn’t have anything to do with football. Do it on Saturday so as not to interfere with the plans of any of those who do elect to watch the game. And offer up something that has all the same allure of this grand sporting event.

Something, for example, like the cinematic classic Grind.

Competitive event. Underdog story. Product placement. Mildly uncomfortable dance number in the middle.

What else can you ask for from a Super Bowl party?

Ah, yes, commercials. Well….I know! Tell everyone to bring one old thing that they’re looking to unload. The movie is an hour and forty-five glorious minutes. Pause it every thirty-five and allow the guests to put forth their best pitches as to why everyone else needs to have what they’re getting rid of. And let the bidding commence.

So break out your foam fingers. Recommend your attendees practice the wave. Wrangle up some artery-hardening food.

And get ready to scream at the TV.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “Wake up, and smell the desperation.”

-          “Okay, you know what? I just got peed on.”

-          “I’m gonna snap your neck like a glowstick.”

Tagline: Live Fast…Play Hard…Die Laughing…

For a Grind Super Bowl Garage Sale of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          Grind (2003)

-          Festive attire consisting of your favorite team shirts - whether they be in the traditional athletic vein or one of these bad boys, all that matters is that you’re cheering for someone.

-          Things you plan to pass on to the next lucky individual (ex. Faux mustache collection minus the handlebar, fuzzy dice without the rope to hang them, Rubik’s Cube with half the stickers pulled off, etc.)

-          Food. It doesn’t matter what, as long as it’s not healthy.

-          A group of skateboarding road trip enthusiasts and/or folks in the midst of winter cleaning and/or people who believe you’re going to play “best of” clips of past Super Bowls in preparation for the big game.

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: The Haunting Piñata Smash

Have you ever watched a movie that creeped you out and had the sudden desire to smack something? I know I have. Have you ever been at an event and thought, “They call this a party? Then where, pray tell, are all the piñatas?” Again, a situation I have found myself in more times than I’d like to remember. 

Whoever perpetrated the evil rumor that piñatas are just for kids’ parties should be found and forced to wear a sign proclaiming “Killer of fun.” Hell, I’ve even got a piñata in my office. ‘Cause that’s just how Dora and I roll.

 Little known fact: Nothing improves your work day like 

glancing over and seeing a piñata smiling back at you.

Now, The Haunting? Not actually that scary. Which, for me, is saying something because I’m possibly the biggest baby child that ever lived when it comes to this sort of stuff. But I didn’t walk away with any nightmares from this one. Except for that mirror scene. That legitimately gave me the willies.

But this not-so-scary movie actually works well for this theme. Because as you’re sitting there, watching the story unfold, you will undoubtedly suddenly think of scene from a movie that really did scare you. When you do so, share it with the group. And then give a piñata a good whack. You get to take out your anger at the real scary movie, without having to deal with watching the offending scene yet again. Or maybe you really love scary movies and you’re outraged by a line of dialogue, a plot point, or an acting choice? Take it out on the piñata.

Eventually, someone will break a piñata. This is where things will go slightly differently that our childhood experiences. You see, I recommend that everyone does not make a mad dash to pile of treats. One, because we’re older now and less likely to smilingly accept an elbow to the face just because we got some candy out of the deal (see also: Slip and Slide). And two, because we’re inside, and there might be sharp furniture around. In my opinion, parties just lose a little of their fun when someone is bleeding.

So, instead, everyone in the group must offer up one scary fact about themselves. The individual who broke the piñata decides, based on these facts who gets what amount of treats. After they’ve been divvied out, the movie continues and the next piñata is brought out.

Because, like any good horror movie, just because you’ve decapitated the villain, doesn’t mean he’s not coming back again.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “Purgatory is over, you go to hell.”

-          “Paintings are moving and strange voices are calling for me at night, and all it cost me was five gallons of gas.”

-          “You have to go look for the bones in the fire place.”

-          “It’s like those Teletubbies, those things freak me out also. Then they sing, so they’re actually kinda scarier when you think about it.”

Tagline: Some houses are born bad.

For a The Haunting Piñata Smash of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          The Haunting (1999)

-          Piñatas. I would recommend at least three or four. You can go with all different ones, or stock pile one kind if you want the same villain to keep returning. Go for whatever one you find the creepiest. This one would do it for me, for obvious reasons.

-          Piñata treats. This doesn’t have to be just candy. Find whatever is small enough to fit into the piñata. Bouncy balls, whistles, hand stamps….really I go with anything that can be used to annoy the Roomie in the future.

-          A group of horror movie buffs and/or piñata enthusiasts and/or people about whom you would like to know more scary facts.

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: Trapped in Paradise Holiday Heist

Nothing says holiday fun like Nicholas Cage movies. Throw in Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey and you’ve got yourself a party, with or without a theme. But seeing as we like themes here, let’s give it one anyway.

Go ahead and get a group of friends together and take a page out of the Firpo brothers' book -- steal from each other against a backdrop of holiday cheer. Not real money, of course (unless you and your friends are much higher rollers than me and mine).

Encourage your friends to dress up for the party in ugly holiday sweaters. As people get there, give them their original allotment of money, to be placed on one’s person, but at least partially visible to start. Once everyone has arrived, let the thievery begin!

This initial money can not be hidden, however all moneys taken from others should be dealt with stealthily. If the person who you are trying to steal from catches you in the act, you must forsake the pursuit and give the victim of your attempted crime one of your own bills. If you see a friend stealing from someone else, you are left with the choice of calling attention to the act or trying to form an alliance.

Person with the most money when the credits roll is the party winner. And by rights, should be hoisted upon the shoulders of all others there and paraded down the hallway with appropriate fanfare. Or given an extra cookie, or something.

Fair warning, if you let yourself be sucked into the wonder that is this movie, you may be leaving yourself open to being left with nothing when it ends. And, trust me, it is not difficult to fall under Paradise’s enchantment.

I made the Roomie watch this movie for the first time last year.

She did not thank me.

I’m assuming because she was too overwhelmed with the strength of her emotion.

It’s the only thing that makes any sense.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “Well. That enhances my state of security.”

-          “This is your basic yoga, I learned it in prison. It’s good for stressful situations like this bank robbery.”

-          “I won’t throw her out the window as long as you do the right thing.”

Tagline: The Firpo Brothers can get away with anything. They just can’t get away!

For a Trapped in Paradise Holiday Heist of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          Trapped in Paradise (1994)

-          Fake money – Monopoly money is good, but strips of paper with amounts written on them work just as well.

-          Holiday themed snacks – Candy canes, latkes, Santa cookies, chocolate gelt (not to be counted as stealable money), etc.

-          Ugly sweaters. If nothing you have seems horrifying enough, throw some tinsel on it. Works like a charm.

-          Holiday decorations. At your discretion, but I say go big or go home.

-          A group of folks who enjoy ostentatious holiday celebrations and/or aspiring criminals and/or people whose distaste of going out in the cold will outweigh their need to run from this movie.

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: Batman & Robin Cartoon Villain Bash

Remember when you were a little kid and you would tie a pillow case around your shoulders and run through the house fighting crime and being generally super hero-ish? I certainly do. For me, of course. Not you. That would just be creepy. Which actually works for this party. So, yeah, assume that I can remember your memories. Or something like that.

Okay, getting off track. The point is that many of us dressed up as heroes, but who sent any love in the direction of the villains? Not me. And I thought this was an oversight that needs to be rectified post haste. What better way to do that than with a viewing of Batman & Robin? I mean, who better to inspire cartoonish villainy than Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and the bizarrely inaccurate portrayal of Bane? This crew made the criminal element that Adam West Bam-Pow-ed look like legitimate threats to humanity.

Not that this fact should in any way imply that I don’t love them.

Because I do. Of course, I do. I can’t turn my back on folks who say things like, “Ice to see you!” and “Sorry, my vines have a crush on you!” I’ve waited my whole life to be that pun-ny.

And that’s the beauty of this party.

Pick a cartoon villain, any cartoon villain. Feel free to dress the part, but costumes are not the necessary accessory this time. The puns are. So, once you land on your alter ego of evilness, start coming up with the corniest jokes you can. Try not to have a prolonged conversation with anyone at the party without inserting a couple in.

One piece of advice. Try not to laugh at anything you or anyone else is saying, regardless of how ridiculous it is. Unless, of course, it is an evil laugh of purpose. But if you’re not letting out a cackle of malevolent merriment, settle on a nice smug grin. Cartoon villains may not always laugh at their own jokes, but they are certainly always aware and pleased about how funny and clever they are.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “Mammals, a day of reckoning is coming”

-          “I hate to disappoint you but my rubber lips are immune to your charms.”

-          “The heat is on, Freeze!”

-          “If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. It’s time to feast!”

Tagline: Strength. Courage. Honor. And loyalty. On June 20, it ALL comes together…

For a Batman & Robin Cartoon Villain Bash of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          Batman & Robin (1997)

-          Volunteers to yell out things like “Bam!” “Pow!” “Wham!” etc. whenever a punch or kick lands during a fight scene.

-          Creative snacks. Have everyone bring something that they feel their villain could make a pun about. (Ex. Mr. Freeze – Sno Balls, Poison Ivy – Red Vines, etc.)

-          Decorations: Create your own evil lair. Think ELE, but go for a decidedly less cool vibe. Maybe a couple of failed ray gun design schematics on the wall. Lists of your evil plans. Whatever gets you in the mood to do evil that will no doubt be thwarted…put it on the wall.

-          A group of folks who appreciate anatomically correct superhero suits and/or fans of glaringly neon colors and/or individuals who really, really, really want to be super villains, but aren’t remotely scary.

And remember, ABP.

Always. Be. Punning.

Happy Friday, all!

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: Drop Dead Fred Imaginary Friend Wine Tasting

Well, we are now into a month traditionally touted for its creepiness and costuming. And who’s creepier than Drop Dead Fred? (I’m pretty sure the correct answer is “a limited few.”)

And what better way to honor this maniacal fellow then to get together with your visible friends, dress up as your favorite imaginary pals, and enjoy some grape derived beverages with Fred and Lizzie? I don’t think there is one.

So, whether you favor Hobbes and Harvey, or are more interested in creating your own (here are some tips), the possibilities are fairly endless. Just don’t forget, this is a fancy event. Regardless of the imaginary friend you choose, they should be in their spiffiest duds.

So, break out your finest crystal and your strangest imaginings! Go and mingle with all those people who look like the friends you’ve known for years, but now aren’t! Learn their stories!

Basically, just have the most bizarre night you can.

(Oh – and this is just a personal preference – but I’d lose the whole spittoon aspect of the wine tasting. At least for this one night. No offense, but I just don’t trust those imaginary folks to keep their spitting to a localized, agreed-upon area. I prefer to nip that activity right in the bud.)

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          "I have been pounded flat on the anvil of love like a piece of veal with a salad on top."

-          "Look at you. You’re all older. You’re even uglier. Uch. I’m sorry. I’m gonna have to be sick all over you immediately."

-          "I don’t love you because love is for girls and girls are disgusting."

-          "It takes more than a fire truck to stop Drop Dead Fred!"

Tagline: Dishes. Relationships. Wind. This guy breaks everything.

For a Drop Dead Fred Imaginary Friend Wine Tasting of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          Drop Dead Fred (1991)

-          Snacks of both the real and imaginary variety. Think regular fare and something along the lines of Hook.

-          Wine, grape juice, and/or any other beverage squeezed from a grape. Don’t forget to set out extra glasses in case your imaginary friends invite some of their buddies!

-          Decorations: In honor of Fred, deck the halls in his signature colors, green and yellow. And maybe throw in a little purple for Lizzie.

-          A group of die-hard Carrie Fisher fans and/or folks looking for a place to wear their nicest clothes before the holidays hit and no one can fit into them anymore and/or individuals you can depend on to truly commit to the ridiculousity of the night.

If you’re looking for another bad movie appropriate to the season, check out the very first BM/GPT post.

Also, congrats to Phoebe Cates and Bridget Fonda for making it into the BM/GPT ranks for the second time!

Have a great weekend!

Bad Movies, Good Party Themes: Two of a Kind '80s Celebration

Hey Party People!

So, I totally know what you've been thinking lately.

Man, John Travolta and Olivia Newton John are fresh! But there are only so many times I can watch Grease. It would be wicked if they'd done something else together.

It's like I read your minds, right? No, I'm not psychic, this is just what everyone thinks. Trust me.

So, first things first, there is no such thing as watching Grease too many times. No. Such. Thing.

But, I can still help you out.

Join me in the viewing of the 1983 cinematic classic Two of a Kind*, starring none other than Mr. Travolta and Ms. Newton John. And, of course, Gene Hackman as the voice of God. Complete with edible sunglasses, bank robberies, a pair of the goofiest gangsters I've ever seen, and enough time freezes to make Zack Morris jealous, this is a film that is sure to make you sit up, take notice, and think, Well....that was certainly a movie.

No, this sadly isn't a musical. But, with the soundtrack being made up almost entirely of Olivia Newton John songs, sometimes you'll think maybe it is.

In keeping with the righteous time frame of the movie, the theme of the night will be the '80s. Appropriate threads are highly encouraged. If you choose not to partake, you will totally be labeled grody to the max. Just fair warning.  

*Not to be confused with the Olsen twins' late '90s TV show of the same name. The one thing this movie is sadly missing is the hijinks of Mary-Kate and Ashley swapping identities.  

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to: 

-          "Two days!?! It took you six days to create the world!"

-          "Both of us will be out of business if those two don't fall hopelessly in love!"

-          "All I know is that the place was flooded and then everyone started throwing food. That's all I know."

For a Two of a Kind '80s Celebration of your very own, here's what you'll need:

-          Two of A Kind (1983) 

-          Spectacularly ‘80s outfit - think neon, acid-washed, cropped sweatshirts, parachute pants. Thankfully, all of the preceding suggestions work for men and women. Thank you ‘80s for the gender neutrality of your bizarre stylings! 

-          Snacks - You can go the candy route with some Razzles and Pop Rocks. Or maybe you just want to make something that looks ‘80s-tastic. I favor the neon cake.

 

  

-          Decorations – Throw a Slinky on the end table, one of the Cabbage Patch Kids and a Glow Worm on the couch. Put a couple of photos of your favorite stars up on the wall. Or more than a couple….I certainly won’t judge. 

Add a few glow sticks and some gold lamé folderol? You’re good to go.  

-     A bitchin' sign of slang phrases from the chose decade. Just in case, for some bizarre reason, your guests can't remember. (Gag me with a spoon, right?) 

-    A group of retro enthusiasts and/or Rubik's cube champions and/or individuals who can do the dance from Saturday Night Fever whilst singing "Let's Get Physical" and not miss a beat.

Now, I've gotta book, but I hope you have a totally awesome weekend! 

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: From Justin to Kelly Boating Soirée

Remember when American Idol first started?

It was a strange time. Those fuzzy years before Ryan Seacrest was named the Grand Pooba of all things that need hosting. He wasn’t even flying solo on Idol yet. Brian Dunkleman, who I knew better as the guy who tried to buy the engagement ring Chandler was going to get for Monica, joined him in this duty.

And viewers watched the battle unfold between the lady from Texas and the gentleman from Pennsylvania.

Ah, yes. The good old days. Sometimes I still miss them.

Of course, when that happens, I just put From Justin to Kelly into the DVD player and all is right with the world once again.

Now, not everyone has as sophisticated a palate as I. Case in point, this conversation with a friend before movie night:

FJtK Hater: I hate that movie so much. I remember watching it with you all the first and only time I've ever seen it thinking, "I love bad movies- this will be awesome."

Me: You'll get to give it a second chance next month AND LOVE IT.

 FJtK Hater: And it was not awesome, Kelly.  IT WAS NOT AWESOME.

Me: You just didn't know enough of the songs and dances. We'll hold a tutorial beforehand. No worries.

FJtK Hater:  IT WAS TERRIBLE.

Me: STOP SPREADING FALSEHOODS.

FJtK Hater: You can't make me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:  I totally can AND WILL.

FJtK Hater:  NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!

Me: It's gonna happen. We will watch it. You will be there.

FJtK Hater:  No.

Me: Don't fight it.

FJtK Hater: I. just. can't.

Me: YOU WILL. And you know what? To commemorate this viewing I'm going to make you your very own tie skirt, a la Kelly Clarkson.

FJtK Hater: No.. -please, just no.

Me: Already picking out the ties.

FJtK Hater: It's just too awful. It's too terrible. And too bad.

Me: It's going to look great on you. I think you can really pull it off.

FJtK Hater:  ............

Despite my friend’s clear descent into madness, this movie is absolutely awesome. Particularly when you pair it with a boating theme. As you will find upon viewing this cinematic masterpiece, the fastest way to show that you are a tried and true boat-er is to wear outfits made up only of differing shades of white.

It should also be noted that the scene in which this is hammered home is the one my friends and I dubbed, “From Justin to Murder.” Check it out and you’ll see why.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “God, how could you curse me with the perfect body and the gift of persuasion?”

-          “Heck, yeah. I mean, hell, yeah. I say hell all the time. Hell, hell, hell.”

-          “Girl, my hair won’t even fit through there.” “I’m from Texas, I’ve seen bigger.”

-          “Yeah. Five and a quarter an hour, scraping beans off plates and filling urinals with ice.”

For a From Justin to Kelly Boating Soirée of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          From Justin to Kelly (2003)

-          Volunteers to call out every time they see something that was stolen directly from Grease or Dirty Dancing.

-          Lots and lots of white clothes. Large brimmed hats are a bonus.

-          Appropriate boating food (we went with shrimp, scallops and crab cakes, followed by cream puffs and dainty deserts in fillo shells).

-          Group of American Idol diehards and/or individuals who live for pointing out continuity errors and/or folks who you can trust to yell funny things out when there is an awkward pause in the on-screen dialogue.

An added tip: When you get the DVD, watch the Extended Version. Pretty sure this takes the movie from 80 to 86 minutes and you get two additional songs. Two of the best in my opinion. Can’t remember their actual names, but we refer to them as “Summer Lovin’” and “Stranded at the Drive In.” Of course, the “drive in” is actually the world’s longest jetty and some hovercrafts, and…no, you know what? I don’t want to spoil it for you.

Just go watch it.

You can thank me later.

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: High School Musical 2 Nostalgia Party

Happy first Friday of the month all! If you’re in the mood to feel both nostalgic and ridiculous, have I got a theme for you...

Let me start by saying, that while, yes, High School Musical 2 is a fairly ridiculous movie to older crowds, it’s not actually that bad for the age group at which it was aimed. And the same can be said for its prequel and sequel. If I was thirteen when these came out, I would totally be in love. And if the Roomie’s face when Troy started singing “Bet On It” was any indication, I don’t think she would employ as stringent an age limit as I on this devotion.

Point of fact, these songs will be stuck in your head for days. If not the words, then just snippets of the tunes. And yes, it will drive you mad. I say this as both a warning and an endorsement.

As far as storyline goes, this part of the series shows those crazy Wildcats working summer jobs at a ritzy country club. Between this setting and all the dance breaks of the child labor, it’s got a Kellerman’s meets the Newsboys Strike sort of vibe.

Or maybe, I’ve just got Kenny Ortega on the brain.

You know what? Make it easy on yourself. Just have an Ortega-themed night. Dirty Dancing, Newsies, High School Musical (1-3)….maybe throw in the float scene from Ferris….oooh, Pretty in Pink! Okay, I’m sorry, I’m getting carried away. Shag: The Movie! No, stop it. But it would be magical. That’s a different theme night! Not this one!

My sincerest apologies.

In terms of this theme, I have one word for you: yearbooks. You know what’s a fantastic way to get yourself laughing? Looking at your friends’ HS yearbooks and having them look at yours. Why? Because we were all ridiculous in some way in high school. My yearbook also had baby pics in it. When the Roomie saw mine, her horrified response was, “It’s the same exact face, but on a baby!” Ah, friend-time bonding. 

Can’t put a price on that.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “But if along the way you act like someone you’re not, pretty soon that’s who you become.”

-          “My show makes the captain of the Titanic look like he won the lottery.”

-          “But you better step away from the mirror long enough to check the damage that will always be right behind you.”

-          “We’re all in this together.” (said, not sung, multiple times by multiple characters)

For a High School Musical 2 Teen Nostalgia Party of your very own, here’s what you need:

-          High School Musical 2 (2007)

-          High school garb (any such garb will do, but if you’re going for real nostalgia, I’d wear something from your own HS days. For instance, I wore my old gym t-shirt and my dance club sweatshirt tied around my waist. Because I am (and was) that cool.)

-          Yearbooks

-          HS era snacks (mine were Oatmeal Crème Pies and Cosmic Brownies)

-          Ribbons, plaques, etc. (Did you win anything in HS? Show it off! Let me tell you, there are very few people who aren’t impressed by my Junior Year Dance Participation Ribbon. And that’s just a fact.)

-          An appreciation for songs that are going to weasel their way into your head for the next week or so (I don’t dance. I know you do! Not a chance. If I can do this, then you can do that. But, I don’t dance……Uh. Sorry about that. Got lost in the head tunes for a sec.)

-          A group of musical enthusiasts and/or Zefron lovers and/or people who know that high school is a thing to laugh over.

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: Parent Trap II Pepsi Challenge Party

Happy first Friday of the month everyone! I’m reaching back into the past for this month’s theme.

Growing up, many a sister sleepover involved a Hayley Mills movie: Pollyanna, Summer Magic, That Darn Cat!, and, my personal favorite, The Trouble with Angels (seriously fantastic movie), were strong contenders. And, of course, there was always The Parent Trap. Because of this, Ms. Mills has always held a special place in my heart (plus she got to teach Zach Morris!).

So, when The Parent Trap came out on DVD, my sister and I rushed to buy it. And, wonder of wonders, the disc also contained The Parent Trap II! We didn’t even know there was a Parent Trap II. The excitement was palpable.

This film takes place twenty-five years after the first. Our beloved twins are all grown up with families of their own. Sharon is divorced and raising a daughter. She plans on moving them to New York City, which her daughter is not at all pleased about. The daughter and her best friend decide the best way to prevent this is to get Sharon to marry the best friend’s father. And how to go about that? Call in twin Susan for a little identity swapping. And let the hijinx begin!

Not only do the twins switch places without each others’ knowledge, this movie also has a plethora of wonderful 80s fashions. So, pretty much everything a movie needs to be awesome.

For the theme, we went the route of the Pepsi challenge. I always wondered if I would be able to tell identical twins apart as the people in these movies never could. Well, there were no identical twins on whom to test my observational skills, so I turned the question of “Can you tell which is which?” in the direction of food.

Were there stomach aches? Maybe. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:

-          “If their date is half as good as these cookies, we’ll be sisters in no time!”

-          “Nikki’s mom was the pretty blonde with the terrific body.”

-          “ ‘Passionately yours.’ That’s the way Rob Lowe signs all his letters in Sixteen Magazine.”

For a Parent Trap II Pepsi Challenge Party of your very own, here’s what you need:

-         The Parent Trap II (1986)

-          Party partner who is willing to dress identically to you.

-          Challenge foods included pretty much anything that there are two versions of. Some of my suggestions are:

o       Pepsi/Coke

o       Oreo/Hydrox (if you can find them)/Newman O’s

o       Lucky Charms/Generic Store Brand (generally named things like Happy Shapes or Marshmallow Mateys. This challenge can really be done with any brand vs. generic cereal. I just happen to like Lucky Charms. I mean…it’s got marshmallows.)

o       Lay’s/Herr’s Kettle Cooked BBQ Potato Chips

o       Hostess/Tastykake chocolate cupcake

-          A blindfold for the challenge.

-          Group of Hayley Mills sentimentalists and/or lovers of all things identical and/or individuals who you’d be willing to swap identities with.

And remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s still The Parent Trap III and The Parent Trap IV: Hawaiian Honeymoon (which also features Leanna Creel, aka Tori Scott from Saved by the Bell. The connections to Zach Morris are pretty much endless).