Zoinks!

Yesterday, I discussed my happy exclamation. Well, every once in awhile I also find myself in need of a less-than-thrilled turn of phrase and the run-of-the-mill interjections just don't cut it. When such situations arise, I am extremely grateful to be able to fall back on the stunning phraseology of Norville Rogers, known to his many friends as Shaggy.

Zoinks.

The first time I ever heard Shaggy utter the word, I laughed because it was so silly. And also because I was about five years old and it didn’t take much to prompt giggles.

I mean, it was just ridiculous.

Zoinks.

And then one day I found myself a little bit scared and I said it. Zoinks. I started laughing again at the silliness and some of the anxiety faded away.

So, I’m here today to recommend the phrase to you. The next time you’re feeling a wee bit scared, just give it a go. (Particularly if you find yourself being chased by a suit of armor come to life, haunted by a ghost hunting for gold, thwarted by an apeman who doesn’t like movies, or beleaguered by a counterfeiting puppet master.) I’m pretty confident you won’t be disappointed.

Zoinks.

Works every time.

I might have been a lot more anxious….if it wasn’t for those meddling kids.

Weakness

Weakness is important in the heroes who populate our stories. It is, paradoxically, what makes them strong. Perhaps not as individuals, but as characters. 

In real life, people are weak. Not every moment of every day, but some moments of some days. And depending on the day, it may be a lot of moments within that twenty-four hour period. We all have our shortcomings - the things we get defensive over if someone points them out, because we know they’re right. 

I, for instance, have a tendency to rely heavily on sarcasm. In high doses, this can take what otherwise would have been an acceptable joking remark and turn it caustic and cutting. After which, I feel a bit embarrassed because the biting nature of what I said was not my intention.  Left to my own devises, I may find a (definitively ungraceful) way of apologizing for the offense, but if someone points it out before I can? Back goes up and I…you know…say something sarcastic.

It’s a vicious cycle. 

And I know I’m not alone in such failings. So, if we all have to suffer the awkwardness of our limitations, why shouldn’t our characters? Misery loving company and what not. 

But really, it’s the balance between strength and weakness that makes these fictional folks relatable. If they weren’t so damned proud and prejudiced, but rather completely open minded and gave each other a chance straight off the bat, would the Darcy/Bennet romance be considered such a classic? I don’t know too many people who read that book for Jane and Bingley. 

Of course, even if they did, there’s plenty of weakness there. Bingley is so insecure in his convictions that it takes little more than a few choice words from his friend to have him walking away from the woman he loves. And for all her moral strength, Jane doesn’t have much vigor when it comes to fighting for what she wants. 

Still we love these characters, not in spite of their inadequacies, but because of them. 

Hey, if Bruce Wayne can be that emotionally screwed up and still save the people of Gotham City on a daily basis, we can probably deal with the fact that we have to sit next to that one person at our staff meeting whose personality makes us want to spit nails. And if you’re occasionally a bit of a know-it-all? Well, so was Hermione Granger and look what she accomplished. Even Buffy, for all her strengths, had moments of stubbornness and self-righteousness that bit her in the ass. Didn’t stop her from saving the world…a lot. 

We all have bad moments. Moments where we let ourselves and the people around us down. The fact that fictional characters do too, makes them relatable. And can provide us some necessary hope that even with these foibles, we can still be pretty damn awesome.

Manaical Mayors

I’ve learned something important over my many years of copious TV watching – Be very wary of mayors.

Sure there are some good ones (Henry Deacon comes to mind). But it seriously seems like this particular political position is the one quite rife with paranormal and supernatural evil. Don’t believe me? Allow me to offer up two prime examples.

Mayor Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time)

Blames a child for the fact that her cuckoo bird crazy mother killed her fiancé. The rage over this event causes her to not just try to rip the hearts out of almost everyone, but to cast a curse that tears everyone in the kingdom out of their world and into ours. Where she naturally sets herself up in the highest political position her town offers. Memories are wiped, families torn apart, and her own adopted son is poisoned. On occasion Mayor Mills shows potential for redemption, which only makes it that much worse when she gives into her evil impulses again and again. 

 Certainly one way to keep your employees in line.

Mayor Richard Wilkins III (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Possibly one of the creepiest characters I’ve ever seen. Why? Because he was so damn pleasant. He could go from talking about the importance of milk to ensure strong bones to the need to kill high school students without changing his tone. And seemed equally sincere on both counts. He sold his soul to become immortal, but even that wasn’t enough. Nope, he had to go and try to become a pure demon in full on snake form. This process included quite a bit of murder and mayhem. But never any swearing. Bad language is just unseemly.

I’m with him there. It is pretty fun.

What about you? Any positions of authority that you are more wary of because of evil television portrayals?

Carbs and Characterization

When I was a kid, there was a short period of time when my mom worked nights. She would always be there when we got home from school, waiting to hear all about the details of the day. After that, she’d try for a few hours of shut eye before heading over to the hospital
I was in fifth grade at the time and wanted to help out. Dad would be getting home from work by 5:30, mom would be heading off to work about a half hour later. The least I could do was chip in with dinner.

And so I did.


I might have only been ten years old, but let me tell you my culinary skills were far beyond my age. Plus, at the ripe age of seven, my sister was a very able assistant. Which is how we ended up with a beautiful meal of rice, egg noodles and biscuits.

In case you’re worried about the meal consisting only of carbs and butter, fear not! I slathered the rice in barbeque sauce. So….you know…that’s different.

It is a testament to parental love that both mom and dad ate what we put on the table. And that they bothered with coming up with a story about how my dad like to unwind after work by making dinner, rather than just telling us this was the most ridiculous meal imaginable.

So, I walked away, patting my back, confident that I had helped out. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that the meal might not have been delicious to anyone over a decade old.

The reason is, of course, clear. People like variety. More than that they need it. In both their nutritional content and more importantly (in my mind) their stories. Some folks, myself included, may enjoy hearing the same story more than once. But no one wants it to be the only story we ever hear. We don’t want to watch shows or movies where every character is a clone of the other. Unless it’s a show specifically about clones, but, even then, I’d expect differing personalities to emerge eventually. Otherwise, it’s just boring.

If Harry, Ron and Hermione had all been fish-out-of-water heroes or comic relief with an inferiority complex or brainy know-it-alls, it wouldn’t have been as interesting. But combine the three and you get one of the most famous literary (and then movie) trios in the world.

Because people love variety.

One of the best ways I’ve ever seen this handled on screen was in Firefly. Not only was each member of that crew immediately distinguishable from all the others, but from the word go, each of those relationships was complicated. Sure, as the episodes progressed, the audience learned more little bits about each character – sometimes just enough to have you screaming, “Where did you come from, Shepherd???” – but from the opening episode watchers were given enough to provide solid descriptions of each character.

Differences complement each other. If there are two characters who are almost identical personality-wise in a story, odds are one of them is unnecessary.

After all, one carb covered in butter is generally enough for a meal.

Anthropomorphic Advice

Welcome to the A to Z Blog Challenge! One month, twenty-six posts, Monday through Saturday. It’s gonna be awesome. Check out more information here, as well as all the other awesome people participating! (A huge thanks to Arlee Bird for the awesome challenge!)

And to kick us off, I decided, why not pick the most fun “A” word ever? Seriously, say it out loud. It’s a good time.

You want to do it together? Okay.

ANTHROPOMORPHIC.

Just good, clean fun.

Plus, who didn’t love stories of such creatures (talking animals, non-living things, natural phenomena, etc.) when they were growing up? The Brave Little Toaster was where it was at, am I right?

It makes particular sense to take a look at anthropomorphic animals on this of all days. The day we all come together in the efforts to completely pull a fast one our nearest and dearest. After all, quite a few of our anthropomorphic buddies were tricksters.

It was through a series of tricks and deceits that Puss in Boots got his penniless master married off to a princess. My favorite of all of his nefarious activities was when he convinced an ogre who owned a castle to turn himself into a mouse. The Booted Cat then ate the mouse and passed off the castle as his master’s. Not very nice, sure, but come on, that ogre fell for the oldest trick in the book. The I’ve-been-told-you-can-do-this-but-I-don’t-believe-it-so-you-do-it-to-prove-a-point-and-I-trap-you? You’re better than that, ogre.

I’ll tell you that thanks to stories of anthropomorphs I have a really hard time trusting rabbits. How about Bugs Bunny? Was there ever a rabbit more accomplished at mental warfare? It didn’t matter if his foe were human or animal. Bugs could trick just about anybody. He often didn’t start the trouble, but he could always be counted on to end it. And then there’s Harvey, another tricky wabbit. Not only was he anthropomorphic, he was invisible. Talk about a double whammy. No wonder poor Elwood kept getting into trouble. And don't go following any rabbits who appear to be running late. I don't care how dapper they look with their vests and pocket watches. No good can come of tailing these fellows. No. Good. 

Ones Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle the Moose are certainly remembered for the ingenuity. Boris and Natasha may have been trained spies, but they were never taught how to deal with the superior intellect of talking animals. But, I mean, who is? A serious hole in the education of all humans. (Teachers, this is really something we should look into.)

So, good luck out there on this April Fool’s Day. I encourage you to keep an eye on your friends, but also on your pets. ‘Cause you just never know when one of them is going to decide to strike up a conversation to distract you from the epic joke they’ve planned.

*Cut to me running off a cliff with an ACME anvil whilst my turtles laugh their shells off*

If you'll excuse me, I'll be hiding under the bed...

I’ve seen a whole slew of previews for two new TV shows lately, Bates Motel and Hannibal. I really, really hate seeing these advertisements.

Why?

Because they make me want to watch the shows.

I have never been able to successfully sit through a full viewing of the movies these shows are prequeling. I was a freshman in high school when I saw the climactic scene of Psycho on one of those TMC top hundred lists. It was maybe a five minute clip. Just enough to scare me out of my mind. And result in a deep seated fear of men in shawls.

Hannibal the Cannibal? Hello nightmares. I know only the unfortunately bare bones of his story. Which is the way I like it.

When it comes to this stuff, I believe the clinical term used to describe a person such as myself is scaredy-cat. A title I’m very comfortable with.

So sweet baby monkeys WHY do I want to watch these TV shows??

I know how these two men turn out. Spoiler alert – no so great. You know, because of all the lack of social graces and killing and what not.

But then the previews come on. Hannibal has me ready to throw things at the TV in about half a second. And maybe shout, How do you not already see he’s a lunatic? Bates Motel is even more nefarious getting my brain to scream, How??? How did he get from point A to point B? Always crazy? Just a little off but pushed to the other side of the line? I must know!

Damn it.

I have, however, come up with a solution. I shall be running, whilst yelling at the top of my lungs, from the room whenever these come on the screen. I will not let them draw me in!

Otherwise, I’ll go broke from the purchase of additional blankets under which to burrow, the never-ending phone calls home to the parents, and the constant leaving on of all the lights (not to mention engendering the hatred of environmental groups). Just a little too expensive for my tastes.

And the paralyzing fear? That ain’t so hot neither.

Comically Serious

My mom and I were talking yesterday about what makes certain television shows so funny. Why some shows have us laughing until it’s a little bit hard to breathe, while others don’t inspire so much as quirk of the lips.

There have been a lot of new sitcoms in the past few years. Some that I really enjoyed didn’t last past a handful of episodes (I’m looking at you, Bent). And there have been others that seem to have built up solid followings, which I just can’t get into.

What is funny is going to vary from person to person, I’m sure. But for me, the thing that makes me roll is when a character says something very funny, but does not say it as a joke. For the character, in that moment, this is a serious topic and it makes complete sense that this conversation is being had. Even if it’s completely and utterly ridiculous.

I can’t stop laughing when Troy says, “I wouldn’t even think about it.” Because he means it. And rather than laughing about the absurdity of such a notion, Abed responds with the same level of seriousness.

The fact that they do it all in Batman voices is just the icing on the cake.

I’ve seen this scene from New Girl a few times. It continues to kill me when Jess says she doesn’t use toilet paper. She’s stuck in moment of self awkwardness and she’s not trying to break the tension with a joke, that’s just the only thing she can think to say. Despite it being ridiculous and not at all true.

And there’s a reason I start laughing the moment Phil Dunphy comes on screen.

He’s just so damn sincere. He’s corny and does ridiculous things that will, of course, embarrass his family. But, he’s just So. Damn. Sincere. How do you not love him?

So, what really gets me a-gigglin’ are characters who take their lives and their thoughts seriously. A series of one-liners said with a smirk just isn’t as compelling to me as two people having a conversation that they are both totally invested in. Even if that conversation is just about clothes.

How about you? What makes comedy funny?

Sandcastles in the Sand....and on the Page

I got some more writing done this weekend (Woo!) and I realized that my writing style has a lot of similarities to the building of sandcastles.

If you were like me as a kid, you spent considerable time constructing your sandcastle. All morning, sometimes. Painstaking attention would be paid to every detail. The height of the turrents. The number of windows. The placement of the drawbridge. And, of course, the depth of the moat. Not to mention the creatures who would be tapped to infest this particular watery defense. Alligators were always a favorite. But what about piranhas? Or sea serpents?

A lot of thought had to go into this.

The people of this kingdom were happy. They felt secure inside those walls, even if someone of them knew that dark dangers lurked just outside.

Life was good.

I would put the finishing touch on the last wall and feel an overwhelming sense of satisfaction.

Followed almost immediately by an all encompassing need to destroy.

So, I would trade rolls, happily shifting from creator to destroyer. I was the evil giant, the sorcerer’s army, the witch’s cyclone. No matter what evil form I took, there was one thing that was for sure: that castle didn’t stand a chance.

But seeing as I’ve never been able to shake my belief that good wins out in the end, I would never completely destroy my creation. Maybe I would leave one crumbling tower, or a rickety drawbridge. Maybe the castle was taken down, but the moat was left untouched, allowing the truly courageous to brave the beasts it held in an attempt to get away from the falling bricks and mortar.

Let’s face it. I was no Dread Pirate Roberts. There were always some survivors.

And they always took me done in a stunning display of heroics. Needless to say, my ocean side death scenes were nothing short of inspired. More than once I think I threw in the Wicked Witch’s “What a world! What a world!”

The people were once again victorious, but rather than bask in that triumph, they immediately started to rebuild. Because that’s the way things worked. They got knocked down. You dealt with the knocker-downer. And then you worked to put them back up.

Just this weekend, I realized that I write the same way. The characters are never as safe and secure behind their walls as my castle people were, but they’re doing all right. And I work hard to build their world up, providing them with the breaks needed to make their lives better. But just when they think they’ve got it all figured out, I trample in there like the unruly giant of my youth. I start crushing everything I can find and those poor souls scramble to take me down.

Now, I haven’t gotten to the end of this story yet, so I can’t say anything about their success or failure for sure.

But, in keeping with tradition, my money’s on them.

And for all you folks not particularly interested in writing or the construction/destruction of sandcastles, I offer you this, in the hope that it will make today’s blog visit worthwhile:

The Many Faces of Love

The time surrounding Valentine’s Day lends itself to discussion of romantic couplings. But we’ve done enough of that here this week, so let’s end with a look at some different kinds of love.

Here are five of my favorite fictional non-romantic pairings found on TV*:

1. Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani (Friends)

Best friends who lived together, enjoyed partaking in stupid activities together, fought, made up, mimicked each other and were always ready in hard times with a helping hand and a well-timed joke. 

2. Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane (Daria)

A couple of outsiders who became fast friends due to their similar world views and love of deadpanning sarcastic quips. No matter what happened to them in that strange little town of Lawndale, there was never any doubt that they would remain freakin’ friends.

3. Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Though in the earlier years there was occasionally some cause for question, it was pretty clear these two were never going to be walking down the aisle. But this certainly doesn’t mean they didn’t find true love in each other. It can’t be forgotten that it was their friendship alone that managed to bring Willow back from darkness and save the world. If that’s not a strong relationship, I don’t know what is.

4. Lorelai and Rory Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)

A mother and daughter who not only loved each other, but truly liked each other. They didn’t spend time together because they felt obligated to, but because it was what they wanted. There were periods of disagreement, and sometimes even estrangement, but, much like the audience, they always knew that they would find a way to work through things. They were the most important relationship in their lives.

5. Michael and George Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)

In a family full of fairly quirky folks, these two kept each other grounded. There was no relationship that either valued more (even the FBI figured that out). Why? Because family is the most important thing. Or was that breakfast?

Have a great weekend, folks! See you back here on Tuesday.

*Because TV is one of the few mediums I haven’t discussed this week. So, it only seems fair.

It May Be Subliminal Messages...Or I May Just Be Weird

So, there’s this commercial. Pretty sure it’s for mattresses. Not positive though because I always stop paying attention after the first line.

I just can’t help it.

A woman’s slightly-stilted voice is heard over the scene playing out on the screen:

“There are no mass-produced humans…”

I think after this she goes on to talk about the need for individual mattresses, but again, I can’t say that with certainty because in my mind her sentence is finished like this:

“…or are there?”

And my mind wanders off into the garden of insanity and I’m picturing this as the opening to a trailer for a movie about clones and the evil overlords who crank them out. I see rows and rows of incubation pods and as the camera passes over them, they all have the same face.

When ready, the pods are zoomed down to another part of the factory and cracked open. Out walks a completely functioning human, ready to address whatever task he was created to deal with in the first place.

And out he walks into the land of unsuspecting, non-mass-produced humans. They’ll never know what hit them.

Then I return to what the kids these days are calling reality and the commercial is over. But the next time it’s up in the rotation….I’m back with the clones.

Every. Time.

The only thing that sometimes changes is whether or not the evil overlords are aliens or apes. (I try not to think of squirrels. It's just too real to me.)

On pretty much every level, this ad is ineffective in growing my interest in the product being sold. But I get excited every time it comes on because, damn it all, I want more information on the conspiracy to cover up the whole mass-produced human project.

And also because I sometimes like to repeat that first line in a robot voice.

Seriously, try it.

It’s fun.

Gone Too Soon

We all have those shows we loved that, in our opinion, got cancelled before their time. Shows we think up with a mixture of wistfulness and despondence. They were just so…..great. And now they’re gone.

*Brings hand to head and swoons dramatically.*

But the shows you love that don’t make it out of the first season? Well, that’s its own special brand of horror. They’re around just long enough for you to get invested and then they disappear.

*Starts to get up, realizes the shows are still gone, succumbs to unconsciousness once again.*

The only upside here is that when I finish the stories in my head, everyone gets a happy ending. As a result, all the fictional characters from my stories hate the fictional characters that other people create. I’m so much nicer to those guys.

Anyhoo, here are five shows which have stuck with me even after the networks have yelled “Cut!”

• Cupid

Debuted: 1998

Lasted: 15 episodes (1 unaired)

Reason I loved it: Cupid or not Cupid? That was the question. I was a believer. More importantly, this was the definition of a “feel-good” show. Every episode had me smiling and left me with a serious case of the warm-and-fuzzies.

• Freaks and Geeks

Debuted: 1999

Lasted: 18 episodes

Reason I loved it: I laughed, I cried, I empathized so much with the awkwardness I wanted to look away…but…just…couldn’t.

• Firefly

Debuted: 2002

Lasted: 14 episodes

Reason I loved it: A space western? Yes, please. The world that this story took place in was fantastic. And the characters? I loved them all. Even when I wanted to throw things at them. I wanted to know everything about them. Thankfully, we got a movie, so at least I know where the Reavers came from, but I still have more questions!

• Jake 2.0

Debuted: 2003

Lasted: 16 episodes

Reason I loved it: It had spies, nerds and nanobot-infection-superpowers. It was my dream life. And, also, I wanted Jake and Diane to have nerdy superpower babies.

• The Unusuals

Debuted: 2009

Lasted: 10 episodes

Reason I loved it: The characters, first and foremost. Everyone of them was a little bizarre and quirky, without ever being a caricature. There were reasons for their weirdness and I loved them for it. And, having worked with people who have spoken about themselves in the third person, I will always have a soft spot for Eddie Alvarez.

Feel free to add to my list! I’m always interested in seeking out more shows that will leave me elated and ticked off.

Most Important Meal of the Day

My ability to suspend my disbelief is a fairly well-honed skill at this point in my life. I like fantastical stories. I want to believe in fantastical stories. So I do.

It’s that simple.

Most of the time.

There are however the rare things that I have trouble getting behind. This weekend I read Lisa Kleypas’ Dream Lake. A really lovely book. But for a stretch in the middle there’s a discussion of the hero going to get breakfast every morning at the inn where the heroine works. And all I could think was, Who has time to go out for breakfast every morning? Forget that, who has time for breakfast at all?

This is especially common in small town stories involving diners. There’s always the regular cast of characters showing up for their morning repast before heading off to their respective workplaces. In Gilmore Girls, Lorelai and Rory managed to get up, out of the house, walk to Luke’s Diner, order breakfast, eat breakfast, drink at least three cups of coffee a piece, and make it to work and school on time. Neither of which ever appeared to be within walking distance of the diner, particularly Rory’s school.

It was nothing short of amazing.

I mean, the characters in Friends did it too, but none of them ever seemed to have normal hours they were expected at their jobs. There’s no way anyone with a true 9-5 could ever spend that much time in a coffee shop.

But, the Gilmores did have places that they needed to get to on time. And they made it. After breakfasting.

I just don’t understand it.

It might just be me, though. I’m a ten minutes from my feet hitting the floor until I walk out the door kind of lady. Not that I don’t enjoy having more time to pull myself together, sleep just has a higher preference. Unless it’s a weekend or a holiday full breakfasts are never in the cards. My specialty is a granola bar once I’m at my desk.

But, before I rank this fictional eating up there with sticking your bare hand in a mysterious puddle of goo, I wanted to find out if this whole eating breakfast before work thing was something that a lot of people do out here in the real world.

So, am I the oddball here, or is this leaving enough time for a morning meal thing the stuff of legends?

The Eternal Question

Friday has arrived, my friends! The weekend is stretched out before us in all its glory and I'm readying myself for the traditional end-of-the-week dance.

And it shall be awesome.

But until it strikes end-of-work-o-clock, I'm distracting myself with sweet thoughts. Literally. I'm thinking about cake and pie. Because, why not?

I will say, I've struggled with myself over the years, trying to decide which I preferred. Cake or pie. Pie or cake. I think we can all agree, they're both awesome (and if we can't agree on that, we're probably not the soul mates I imagined). But who wins in the ultimate battle for our taste buds?

I've done my research. Consulted expert after expert. I rented Waitress, recorded Cake Boss. I've listened to every song on Lisa Loeb's "Cake and Pie." I've learned what happens when you get baked into a cake and that pies can be a bit dangerous. I've sent my resume to The Pie Hole....possibly more than once. 

Pretty much left no stone unturned.

Ultimately, it seems, though, there is no one answer to this question. It's something all people must decide for themselves.

Through much soul searching and teeth gnawing and the filling out of this handy dandy bracket, I have discovered that pie has the advantage in my world.

I'm a pie girl.

There, I said it.

What are you?

To be continued...

You know when you’re watching a TV show and you happen to glance down at the clock and realize there’s only five minutes left? And suddenly you realize, there’s no way they’re going to wrap this all up in five minutes. It’s going to be a cliffhanger. Those three words are going to flash up on the screen: “To be continued...”

And you’re so annoyed because you want to know how everything turns out, but at the same time, you’re a little bit glad because the story’s awesome and you really don’t want it to end.

That’s what New Year is to me. I mean, technically, that’s sort of what every day is, but the New Year always makes it seem more dramatic.

What’s going to come next?

Are all the characters in our lives still going to have top billing after this next season? Are some of the “recurring” ones suddenly going to be promoted to “regular cast?”

Are the storylines that seem so overwhelming to us right now going to be overarching or are we going to be all “Remember that episode? So melodramatic,” a few months from now? Am I going to find out that the breaking of my navigational system charger set off a series of events which I will be dealing with for years to come? Or am I going to, you know, just get a new charger?

There’s a world of possibilities (except with the charger thing. I’d be really surprised if that turns into anything) and apprehension. And I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what the next plot twist is. 

This is my last blog of 2012. Not because of the whole end-of-the-world predicament (probably), but because I’ve got holidays plans and a first draft to finish. But, provided we’re all here tomorrow, I’ll be back in 2013.

See you then!

Shoring Up the Plot Holes

I do this thing where my mind fills in holes in the stories I’m reading or watching. Not big gaping plot holes that have you wondering if anyone gave the work a second glance before moving forward. The smaller things that most stories have. Little moments that aren’t fully explained because the explanation is not necessary to the plot moving forward.

My mind creates the story that takes place during those moments. It’s not something that I think consciously about. It’s more of a, Well, of course that’s what happened.

At least for me.

My sister and I have watched many a TV show together. And as I tend to watch the show first and then get her into it, more than once she has asked me clarifying questions about specific plot lines. And I always have an answer.

Just sometimes it’s not one that was actually discussed at any point in the show.

After dealing with enough blank looks to her follow up question of “When did they say that?” my sister finally realized that the answers I was giving her were not always actually in the storyline.

Which prompted many a question about why I can’t just say “I don’t know,” when she asks me something. And while there is, of course, my pathological need to always have an answer for the little sis, in this case it’s not even a matter of wanting to have a good response to her questions. I don’t think about it. Someone asks a question about a story and if the answer isn’t immediately evident in what has been presented, my mind spews out the most likely scenario it can come up with based on the characters at hand.

It took a number of episodes and thrown couch pillows, but the sister eventually got that I wasn’t doing this just to drive her bananas. It was simply the way I watched stories.

Now after I answer one of her questions there is only one follow up, “Is that a show answer or a Kelly answer?”

Do any of you ever find your mind filling plot holes without you noticing?

Tonight’s Christmas Viewing:

• “Gus’s Dad May Have Killed An Old Guy” (Psych)
• “Christmas Party” (The Office)

Turkey Time Out

Thanksgiving is almost here! As my father would say, one and a wake up! This probably means that people are scurrying about picking up groceries and doing a final sweep of the house before guests arrived. Maybe you’re staring into your oven, trying to remember how you Tetris-ed all the food in there last year so that everything was ready at the same time (it’s an art form). Or maybe you’re really focused on creating the perfect Christmas movie schedule to begin next Monday.

Oh, that’s just me?

Well….this is awkward.

But anyway, we’re all busy with something or other. And our productivity is laudable. And necessary. (We’re making dinner for how many people?) Sometimes, though, you just need to take a break. Just a small recharge to get you ready for all that potato peeling. If you’re someone who can take an appropriately timed nap, you have my admiration. I’ve tried. There’s absolutely no problem falling asleep, but when that alarm goes off a half hour later?

*Cue sound of cell phone smashing into wall, followed by light snoring.*

And a short reading break certainly doesn’t work. No amount of turkey stuffing responsibilities is going to distract me from seeing what happens in the next chapter. So, my breaks come in the form of television shows. Whether or not I go with an hour or half hour choice is largely dependent on how severely I cut myself while chopping celery (every damn year).

So, if you need a break or just want something on in the background while you craft that perfect apple pie, here are a few options:

1. “Pangs” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

2. “Chuck Versus the Nemesis” (Chuck)

 (Blogger is not cooperating with this video. But the clip is great!)

3. “Blitzgiving” (How I Met Your Mother)

4. “The One With Chandler in a Box” (Friends)

5.  “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving” (Gilmore Girls)

Oh, and don’t forget to break out the construction paper and scissors! You can never have enough hand turkeys.

Never.