Sometimes When The Curtain Falls, The Show Goes On

Hey folks! In the mood for some ghosts and ghouls this Halloween week?

I'm over at the Opera House Arts blog every day this week blogging about different folks who have made the after-life decision to spend all their time in theatres. I don't know about you, but I can see the appeal...

Folklore Friday

The time has come, my good friends, for some more delving into North American folklore. I'm simultaneously polishing one book and plotting the next. Keeping these creatures fresh in my mind is pretty much a must. We've already taken a look at A through J, so let's move on down the alphabet, shall we?

Kachina

These creatures are also known as Koko, depending on what tribal lore you're looking into. They're spirits who apparently take the form of ducks and bring rain to the people. Some say this is done by their changing the souls of the dead into rain clouds - which, let's face it, really makes me want to invest in a heavy-duty umbrella. Something about have the dead rained on me is a bit unsettling. The Kachina also love both entertaining and disciplining children. If you happen to be in the market for a mythical babysitter, look no further.


Luferlang

If I'm being quite honest, one of the main reasons I'm including these fellows is because I enjoy saying their name. Come on, try it. Luferlang is just fun to say and, I imagine, quite interesting to see. These guys are fairly distinctive, with both a large blue stripe down enormous backs that sport tails right smack dab in their centers. Being bitten by one is certain death. Luckily for everybody, the Luferlang only bites once a year and lumberjack lore is bizarrely specific on when this "biting season" occurs. July 12. From what I've found, that's it. The biting season is one day. Biggest piece of advice, don't wear green. Drives the Luferlang crazy. If you do happen to have the misfortune of running across one on that ill-fated summer's day, don't worry. Hope is not lost. Clearly displaying an orange colored handkerchief will protect you, as will holding a mirror up so that the Luferlang sees its own reflection. There seem to be some deep-seated body issues here, as looking at its own reflection causes the Luferlang to run off in disgust. Makes me want to give it a big hug...at least it does 364 days a year.


Misiganabic

This is one of those take-the-bad-with-the-good creatures. A gigantic sea serpent, this guy is well respected by the Algonquins for keeping the waters of many different lakes around North America clean. For the most part, it seems that the misiganabic keeps its own counsel and is not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, trouble is exactly what a person gets if they look at the misiganabic. One glance at the serpentine body that leads up to the head of a horse and you're either looking at crippling misfortune or death - which really makes it hard to enjoy those crystal clear lakes.


Nalusa Falaya

These swamp dwellers come out of Choctaw mythology and are quite the little devils. They're humanoid and pretty much covered head to toe in hair, but this doesn't exactly hide the fact that their backs are covered in sharp spines. Far more upsetting that imagining how much shampoo these guys would blow through is the fact that those spines serve a practical purpose. Once the Nalusa Falaya children shed their skin and turn into glowing spirits that attract travelers to the swamps - you know, as children are wont to do - the adults scare the humans into unconsciousness and then stab them with their spines. Considering the spines are on their backs, I guess that means that they trust fall on to a pile of fainted folks and roll around in a bloody mess. The worst part? This doesn't kill the people. Instead it brainwashes them to wake up, return to their friends and then randomly attack them. Talk about a camp ground buzzkill.


Ohdows

Out of Iroquois lore, the Ohdows are one of the three tribes of Yogah - the other two being the Gahonga (Stone Throwers) and the Gandayah (responsible for the earth's fertility). Of these three, I can say, hands down the Ohdows are the one's I'd want to tag along with on Take-A-Mortal-To-Work-Day. After all, they're responsible for controlling the monsters that live in the underworld and making sure that they don't make a break for the surface. Just show me where to sign and I'm in.


But until I get the necessary permission slip for such work, it's time to focus on the ol' manuscripts. Have a great weekend and don't follow any glowing spirits toward the swamps. If for no other reason, avoid it for your friends' sakes.

Knocking Blocks Down to Build Them Back Up

I’ve discovered something about my young nephew – nothing enrages him more than when I construct a tower of toys. No matter where he is in the room, he immediately bee-lines for my neat little stack of blocks and knocks them right the hell down.

If I manage to get them back up as he wobbles away, I am graced with a “are you f*&^ing kidding me?” look as he backtracks to destroy my creation once again with gleeful abandon.

When it comes to writing, I’m somewhat similar to my nephew in that sense. It’s all well and good for me to actually write a story, but the fun lies in tearing it all apart again when I’m done. Editing and revising? My favorite parts of writing. I love knocking all the blocks down and seeing where they fall. Only, unlike my nephew, I also love building it back up again. I keep at this process of destruction and rebuilding over and over again, until I charge at the story and find myself running into a wall I just can’t quite topple.

So, I’m off to do some glorious, bloody editing. While I’m hacking away, though, I thought I might leave you with the next round of awesome mythological creatures that the U.S. boasts.

Fastachee

This fellow is a corn spirit connected to Miccosukee and Seminole tribes. He generally appears as a dwarf and gifts people with corn. Of course, they honor him for this. How could they not? Who, in their right minds, doesn’t love corn?

Glawackus

Is it a bear? A panther? A lion? Nope. This guy appears to be a mix of all three. The glawackus is one of the “fearsome critters” of lumberjack lore and is thought to be native of Connecticut and Massachusetts. If the pantliobear description isn’t enough to keep you from going camping, then let me also warn you, the glawackus is known for his blood-curdling screams – so, bring headphones or something.

Hudson River Monster

I’m so disappointed in myself. I’m a native New Yorker and somehow I was unaware that the Hudson River was home to a cryptid described as looking like an unusually large manatee. When you consider the fact that a manatee can weigh over 1,000 pounds, an “unusually large” one would be sizable. And I missed him! The only consolation I have is that he was spotted various times in 2006 and I was down in DC at that point. Not that my location is really any excuse. I mean, his name is Kippy! I should have known about this. I have no one to blame but myself.

Ishigaq

This race of little people (akin to fairies) come from Eskimo legends. They’re about a foot tall. As they leave no footprints in the snow, they are believed to float just above the ground when they travel.

Jackalope

Another “fearsome critter” for the list! These fellows appear to call Michigan their home. They’re hard to miss, seeing as rabbits with deer antlers tend to draw attention. This becomes especially true when they start boozing it up. Jackalopes are big whiskey fans, so if you too call this your drink of choice, you’re going to want to watch that they don’t steal it. Of course, they are also able to mimic any sound. Undoubtedly, if you hear your friend calling your name, you will turn back to find your drink disappeared.

That draws today’s discussion of weird and wacky American tales to a close. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some blocks to knock down.

Rectifying Ignorance, One Argopelter at a Time

Benjamin Franklin said, “Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.”

Which, I hope is true, considering I recently realized that there are literally dozens of creatures in American folklore of which I knew nothing until last week. A little embarrassing, really, when I consider that I am both a student of American history and a chronic consumer of folklore.

But I’m definitely willing to learn, so I’m calling it water under the bridge. More than that, it’s water filled with haietlik under the bridge.

The important thing is that thanks to the beauty of WIP research, I now have some new favorite creatures. On the off chance that any of you have the same sad gap in your knowledge that I did, it seems only right to share my findings.

So, let me explain. *pauses* No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Or, at least, just stick to the first five creatures of awesome.

Argopelter

Starting off strong, because this guy may just be my favorite. Part of lumberjack lore, the argopelter is a lightning quick tree dweller with an ape face and super long arms that can snap trees branches right off. Once he does that, though, watch out – because if you’ve annoyed him, he can hurl those branches at you with the force of a bullet leaving a gun. Death by splinters makes an interesting epitaph.

Bakwas

A ghostly sort of fellow who seems to be looking for friends among the Kwakwaka’wakw people of coastal British Columbia. If you’re even stranded in the woods up there, think twice before taking him up on his offer of ghost food. Definitely be ready to be a forever friend, because sharing a snack is going to turn you into a bakwas as well. Here’s hoping he has an extra room in his invisible house.

Cactus Cat

Hailing from the American Southwest, this thorn covered bobcat has a armored tail and spikes coming out of its legs. Which is great, because feral cats weren’t dangerous enough already. Plus side, this cat’s a sloppy drunk – known to drink fermented juice until its all liquored up and then spend the night shrieking. Not the best of neighbors.

Dwayyo

Okay, I went to school in Washington, DC. How did I not know about cryptid feud in the Blue Ridge Mountains? On one side, the dwayyo, humanoid wolfmen. On the other, their mortal enemies, the Snallygasters – flying, blood-sucking dragons. Why? I have to assume for reasons of awesomeness.

Emogoalekc

Once a human, the gentleman fell into the sea after he accepted that due to his status as a slave he would never marry the chief’s daughter. Instead of being the end of his story, it’s instead a very strange beginning. Upon hitting the cold Pacific waters, he turned into a sea creature. Following this, the only people who saw him were those who would one day be chief.

I’ll stop there for today, but definitely expect some more creature convos as I get further into this draft. And if you have a favorite creature of American folklore, let me know! 

Let Us Eat Pancakes

Today is one of the greatest holidays of all the holidays…National Pancake Day. That’s right, folks, it’s the day when eating pancakes is not just delicious, but celebratory. And while, I’ve mentioned I’m not much of a breakfast in the morning type of person, I am a staunch supporter of breakfast foods for dinner.

And who can really turn their nose up at pancakes?

Pretty much no one in the history of humanity. Which is probably why pancakes were one of the most common cereal-type foods of prehistoric society.* That’s right folks, those guys gave us the wheel, the application of fire AND pancakes. Kind of makes all our accomplishments pale a little in comparison, doesn’t it?

And, I for one, find pancakes much more impressive than sliced bread, so that saying’s going to change.

I mean, imagine if someone said to you, “You’re the best thing since pancakes.” How flattered would you be? I’d be pretty damn flattered.

Pancakes also show up in folklore. From Norway and Germany, we get pancakes, with penchant for rhyming and alliteration, respectively, on the run. One of the German pancakes is actually quite the philanthropist, willingly sacrificing itself for some starving orphans.

Russia offers us a cautionary tale of greed and a magic handmill which can provide a never-ending supply of pancakes. Who wouldn’t be greedy in the face of such treasure? And then there’s the one about the gossip and the pancake tree. The classic and heart-warming tale of a man, his treasure, and his efforts to make his wife appear insane.

This phenomenal breakfast food can even give you a heads up on whether or not you’re going to get married – provided you have some livestock. Just throw a short stack to the rooster. If he calls the hens over before eating, you’re as good as hitched. If not, you’ll still be able to get up and dance when Beyonce calls for all the single ladies (or gents). If you think it’s unfair that a greedy rooster can determine your relationship status, I suggest you stop throwing him flapjacks and invite other people over for your breakfast feast.

Now, I need to go pick up batter for tonight’s pancake dinner. And, of course, locate my pancake molds.

Wishing you the most wonderful of National Pancake Days! May pancakes waft from the sky to your plate, a la Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs before the climate change.

* Check out the Oxford Companion to Food (1999) or Martin Jones’ Feast: Why Humans Share Food (2008). You’ll look all sorts of educated, whilst in your mind screaming “PANCAKES, PANCAKES, PANCAKES.” At least, that’s what is generally going through my head when I read non-fiction. Regardless of the relevancy. 

I Believe

I never stopped believing in Santa Claus.

Sure, I heard the same things most kids do on the playground. How it’s impossible. There’s no way he could get around the world, to all those houses in one night. It just can’t happen. And when I asked why, I was treated to all manner of logical explanations. All of them made sense. Every one of them was a completely believable reason as to why someone could not possibly do the things that Santa supposedly did.

Not one of them made a dent in my belief.

To me, what was always missing from these explanations was magic.

There are people, particularly some of those kids on the playground, who would roll their eyes at the thought of magic. Maybe these people feel too grown up to indulge in such childish thinking. Maybe they’re frustrated that regardless of how calmly and rationally they argue their point, there are some who they will never convince (namely me). This is not to say that I don’t appreciate their line of thought. Logic is wonderful and something I think should be utilized daily, but I’ve never been of the opinion that it should be the sole perspective from which any issue should be viewed.

After all, doesn’t everything start as fantasy?

We are members of a species that has made absolutely remarkable strides in the sciences. Over the years things have been proven that previously were thought to be declarations of insanity.

The earth is not flat, nor does it occupy the center of the universe.

“Atom” comes from a Greek word that means “indivisible.” Turns out it can be divided.

Humans are born sans wings, but countless take to the sky every day.

We live in a world that if described to our ancestors would have been considered magical and, most likely, insane. Why? Because of men and women who believed in the possibility of their fantasies.

As Albert Einstein put it, “When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.”

So, in honor of the people who have gotten us this far and the people who will one day make it possible for me to drop by grandkid off at Quidditch practice in my flying car, I will never stop believing in possibility of those things that defy logical explanation. After all, if there’s one thing we’ve historically proven, it’s that we’re never as smart as we think we are.

Now, I’m not here to convince you to believe in Santa (that can be left to Francis Pharcellus Church), but I do strongly encourage the belief in possibilities. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if we turn out to be wrong, the fun of life is keeping an open mind while we have the chance.

If you will excuse me, I have to go mail out my letter to the man in red. Really want to know what those elves have been up to.

Tonight’s Christmas Viewing:

• “Little Minnesota” (How I Met Your Mother)
• “The One Where Rachel Quits” (Friends)
• The Christmas Card
• The Shop Around the Corner

Gang's All Here

I’m looking forward to seeing Rise of the Guardians (hopefully soon) for a number of reasons.

One, I like it when established characters cross over into each other worlds. It’s just interesting to see characters from one story interact with characters from another. (And who didn’t smile when Detective John Munch stepped in to help out in the investigation against the Bluths?)

And while it wouldn’t bother me if Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren’t the best friends ever, I would be a little surprised if their paths never crossed. My guess is that there are only so many people in the bringing-holiday-treats-without-anyone-seeing-them line of work. There’s got to at least be a contact list. You know, Santa finds out (the hard way) that one house has a new, rather unfriendly dog – he shoots out a quick email: 

Subject: Dog Alert

Date: 25 December 2011 1:06am

From: JollyYoungElf@northpole.com

To: EB@springtime.com; fa!rydust47@weefolk.com; Mr.S@sleepies.com

The Piedmont family in Galena, Illinois have a new pup. Not an easy-going sort. Seems particularly excitable when it comes to the color red. Plan your trips to that house accordingly. Might I suggest body armor? Or at least some Snausages?

Best,

Nick

            Subject: RE: Dog Alert

            Date 25 December 2011 2:10am

            From: Mr.S@sleepies.com

            To: JollyYoungElf@northpole.com; EB@springtime.com; fa!rydust47@weefolk.com

I’m so sorry about that. I tried to get a message out earlier, but service out here is quite poor. I met up with the canine in question when I was trying to get the Piedmont children asleep. Point of interest, in addition to red, he really doesn’t care for dust.

~ San

Really, that they would run in the same circle seems only logical. So, to see a movie them about fighting evil? That’s pretty much all the things I love wrapped up into one bundle of animation.

And then, of course, there’s the fact that it reminds me of one of my favorite childhood holiday books, Christmas Always… by Peter Catalanotto. (A book that is currently sitting on my living room table.)

Catalanotto’s story does not have the gang fighting evil and the Easter Bunny makes no appearance. Rather the Sandman, Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy are all working to get young Katie to go to sleep before Santa’s arrival.

This book was one of the first things to get me thinking about connections between the more magical figures in my life and is one I re-read every year. And every year it maintains it's awesome-ness.

Now, I get the sense that in Rise of the Guardians the problem at hand is going to be a tiny bit bigger than getting one little girl off to dreamland, but I’m sure the team is up to the challenge. And, I’d also like to point out that if any of these legends are ever looking for an intern to paint eggs, catalogue bicuspids, fill sandbags – whatever – I’m your girl. Hell, I’ll even make the list and check it thrice.

Bobbing for Answers

Continuing on with our fall traditions, we’ve got bobbing for apples. Which, to be honest, I always thought was fairly gross.

Come on friends! Stick your face in this bowl/bucket/trough/whatever filled with water of an unfortunate temperature and try to snag an apple that has doubtless already been licked by someone else!

No, thank you.

But, apparently my deep-seated desire not to contract germs from soggy apples has left me woefully uninformed about the future marital bliss of myself and those around me.

Curious as to which of your friends will be the next to tie the knot?

One legend claims that the first person to snag an apple without the aid of their hands will be the next to marry. Another says that the person who got the apple was fated to marry the person who owned said apple.

How about just the general state of future relationships?

Grab that apple on the first try and you are destined for true love. For those not quite as talented at the bobbing, sorry friends, a lot of romantic fickleness awaits you.

And the predictions don’t end once you’ve finally caught that salvia covered apple. Peel in and throw the skin over your shoulder. It’ll land in the shape of your true love’s initial. Or, you could stick it under your pillow, guaranteeing dreams of your future love (or a night of no sleep at all. Because you’ve got a big lumpy apple under your pillow. But definitely one of the two).

But, as it turns out, not all apple bobbing superstitions are focused on marriage.

I just read a tale claiming that by surviving an ordeal by water (and who wouldn’t call fishing around for an apple in a bucket of water in which a bunch of other people have dunked their hair an ordeal?) and capturing an apple, you can gain passage to the land of the fairies. This is only possible on Halloween though, as the boundary between our world and that of magic is weaker than at any other point.

Now, I’m willing to deal with uncertainty surrounding my future marital state (who doesn’t love a good mystery?). But, a chance to visit the fairies? I may need to rethink my position on this whole icky endeavor, at least on the 31st. 

What about you? Feel like bobbing?

Poor Jack and his Turnip Lantern

As a friend recently noted, pretty much everything is pumpkin themed right now. The season of the pumpkin is fairly standard. We start seeing them outside of store fronts in September and most don’t lose their position until the snowmen are rolled out after Thanksgiving. So, it’s pretty much a solid three months of pumpkin-tastic-ness.

October is the height of this pumpkin hysteria and, as such, needs to distinguish itself from the surrounding pumpkin-loving months. And what better way to celebrate All Hallow’s Eve than taking a giant knife to a pumpkin’s face?

I’ve never given much thought to this oddly violent, yet festive tradition. At least nothing past, Haha! You will be an angry pumpkin. And you, sir, will be a happy pumpkin. Oh, they kind of both look the same. Okay….AMBIVALENT PUMPKINS!

But I just found out that the story of the jack-o’-lantern is well deserving of its place on such a spooky holiday. According to Celtic folklore, it all started when some poor sap named Jack tricked the devil. The retelling of the trick varies, but as a result of this shenanigan, the devil agreed not to take Jack’s soul after death. Pretty sweet, right? Not really. Cause Jack wasn’t all that virtuous throughout his life. Due to his tomfoolery, heaven said “No, thanks,” after he died and he was forced to meander around purgatory. To make matters worse, purgatory did not have the best lighting. So, to see where he was going on these endless wanderings, Jack fashioned himself a lantern from a turnip and a lump of flaming coal that the devil tossed him.

In Jack’s honor the Irish used to carve such lanterns in an attempt to guide the spirits wandering the streets on Halloween. Turnips were originally used, but when the Irish came to America after the potato famine, those weren’t as easy to acquire. So, the tradition was kept up with pumpkins.

The only thing I’m still a little unclear on is when we decided that these lanterns should have faces.....

By Dvortygirl, via Wikimedia Commons

But regardless of how the face on this year’s jack-o’-lantern turns out, I’m going to put the brightest burning candle I can find in that sucker in the hopes of leading poor Jack home. Wherever that may be. Because eternity is a long time to wander.

Happy Friday the 13th!

I know that, traditionally, this is thought of to be a not so great day. But it’s always been one of my favorites. No triskaidekaphobia here! And it’s a good thing too, as I turned 13 on Friday the 13th. (We went to a Japanese restaurant where the waiter juggled knives. Show no fear!)

Of course, not being a particularly superstitious person doesn’t make superstitions any less interesting. So, in honor of the day, I offer you thirteen:

1. It is bad luck to wish an actor “Good Luck!” before a performance. Always say “Break a Leg!” (Strangely enough, Roomie never seems to appreciate this when I yell it to her before her soccer games.)

2. Never place shoes on a table as it means bad luck for the remainder of the day. (Also, it’s not all that hygienic.)

3. Put a pair of open scissors under your pillow for good luck and to keep away evil spirits. (Yeah. There’s no way that’s going to end badly.)

4. Never invite a door knocker to come in without seeing who is there first. It might be an evil spirit. (Or just a jerky person. Which would be worse.)

5. If you eat from the pot, it will rain at your wedding ceremony. (Looks like I’m fated for an indoor wedding. Thanks a lot, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese!)

6. If you start to go somewhere and come back for something, you will have bad luck. (Seems like you’ve already had it with the whole forgetting something issue.)

7. If your ears itch, someone is speaking of you. (If you find this happening regularly, it is likely you are super popular. But consider consulting a dermatologist. Could be eczema.)

8. If bird excrement lands on you, it is good luck. (See, this just sounds like someone trying to make themselves feel better. Sorry, Roomie, but I'm looking at you.)

9. Dream of a birth, someone will soon die. Dream of a death, a baby is coming. (That wily Sandman. Always trying to keep us on our toes.)

10. If a bird flies toward you, bad fortune is imminent. (I once had a seagull swoop down and steal an entire sandwich out of my hands. Certainly seemed like bad fortune to me. Of course, I can’t think of too many situations where an animal charging you is going to end well.)

11. A horseshoe hung in the bedroom will keep nightmares away. (Particularly if you hang it above your bed on a shoddy nail. That thing falls on you, you’re pretty much guaranteed a dream free night. And a headache in the morning.)

12. You can break a bad luck spell by turning seven times in a clockwise circle. (Of course, you’ll probably end up vomiting. So figure out which is the lesser of the evils before you make any decisions.)

13. If you read a fortune from a fortune cookie before eating the cookie completely, you will have bad luck. (This is possibly the only superstition I adhere to and I’m 99.9999% sure that my brother made it up to see how gullible I am. Turns out the answer is very. Still eat the full cookie before reading my fortune.)

Hope your day is full of whatever you believe to be the most lucky!



Squirrel Menace Update: Beware the Night Squirrels.

Pays To Be Up On Your Superstitions

I just read that there is apparently an old Scottish superstition that, “A strange black cat on your porch brings prosperity.”

I wish I’d known this four years ago.

I was visiting at home and, naturally, reading late into the night. I remembered that there were Girl Scout cookies in the kitchen, so I went to forage. As I was rummaging through the cabinets, I saw a black nose at the door. My first thought was that the dog was outside and wondering who had let him out. I went to the door and looking up at me was a black cat with vividly yellow eyes.

This cat would not stop staring at me, to the point where she would move to watch me in the kitchen. Whenever I would glance in her direction, she would make complete, unwavering direct eye contact. Her gaze did not ever flutter for a moment.

To describe it as eerie would be an understatement.

After a few moments I decided that I had to get a picture so I would have proof when I spoke of my feline stalker. I grabbed a phone, but as soon as I turned the camera part on the cat walked away, retreating under the deck table. I could still see the light reflecting off her eyes as she continued to stare back at me.

I put the phone down and she immediately returned to the door, this time lying down, all the while maintaining direct contact with the ol' peepers. She got up once more and began to walk away, and looked back at me as though to say, Come on. Follow me.

Though I regret to say it, I stayed inside the house rather than follow the strange black cat on some sweet nocturnal wanderings. My rejection was not enough to dissuade her and she returned to the door. I went upstairs, but could not get her golden gaze out of my mind. After awhile, I ran back down to see if she was still there.

She was.

She was looking out into the backyard, but her head suddenly flipped around and she immediately trained her gaze on mine. That was enough for me. Gave the cat a quick nod and returned upstairs, feeling sufficiently creeped out. And never saw her again.

Opportunity lost.


In other animal news, I present you with a Squirrel Menace Update: A recent video shows that the Cute Squirrel Ops Force is making its presence known. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by their adorableness!

Calling all Leprechauns...

What week of Irish discussion would be complete without some mention of the leprechaun?

These mischievous fairies are less known for their shoe-making prowess than they are for their tendency to keep their business proceeds in pots, hidden at the end of rainbows. It seems like a strange banking system now, but I bet it made all kinds of sense before the dawn of debit cards.

Like most individuals who are concerned about the possibility of being mugged, leprechauns rarely carry a great deal of cash on them. Rather, they have but two coins on their person at any given moment, one silver, one gold. It would behoove you not to accept either one of them, if you’re ever in such a position. The silver coin returns to the leprechaun’s pocket whenever spent and the gold coin turns to ash as soon as the leprechaun has escaped. Not a bad system, all in all, for individuals so frequently the targets of theft.

Also, leprechauns are wily fairies and can vanish with nary a warning. Believe me, I know.

The first leprechaun I ever saw was standing on the street lamp outside my residence hall window.


He was just watching the water, whiling away the minutes. I opened my window further to get a better look. I thought maybe we could have a little chat. I didn’t want his gold or anything. I learned my lesson with the banshees….Don’t try to take what doesn’t belong to you. Face it, situations like that always end poorly. I was just hoping that, considering I was too far away to make a grab for him, that I might be able to fill my lifelong goal of speaking to a leprechaun.

As soon as I opened my mouth to greet him, though, he disappeared in a blink. I also thought I heard him mumble “Pog Mo Thon,” which was kind of rude. I guess he had bad experiences in the past or something.

My sister had much better luck when she came to visit me. I don’t know if she has a more calming presence or this other leprechaun was just less uptight, but he even hung out with us for a couple minutes before vanishing.

I don’t think that he really believed us about not being after his gold and he refused to answer any of my questions, but he did, at least, pose for this awesome picture.

Seconds after this was taken, he was gone.

I’m guessing I haven’t built up a huge leprechaun following at this point, but if, by chance, there is a leprechaun reading this, please know that I have no interest in your gold. I simply want to get to know you. You see, one day I may include you in one of my stories and I would just hate to portray you inaccurately. So, if any of you are ever available for a short meet and greet, please feel free to get in touch with me. I’m happy to travel to you, but I completely understand if you’re more comfortable meeting somewhere away from rainbows.

One last message to all reading this (regardless of your leprechaun status), I hope you have a very Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Slainte!

Lacking Sophistication and Loving It

Ireland is thought to be home to many of the good folk. These fairies will often live in large communities under some sort of royal rule. They are big fans of the fun - dancing, singing and feasting. But this enjoyment of life should not lessen the seriousness with which these creatures are taken. They are highly intelligent beings, who can in turn be benevolent or hostile towards humans.

There are many meeting spots where these communities of fairies will come together, often bushes or trees that stand alone, away from other natural groupings. When I was in Ireland, my folklore professor told us a story about a highway that was to be built in County Clare in the late ‘90s. As they got ready to begin construction of the road, a gentleman, well studied in traditional Irish folklore, spoke out in opposition.

You see, he pointed out that directly in the middle of where this road would be was a fairy tree. If this foliage was destroyed, he promised that the fairies would come and wreak havoc on everyone who used the road, in retaliation for this offense. At first, our professor told us, this gentleman was seen only as a nuisance. However, his persistence eventually paid off. The highway was still built, but it was built around the fairy tree, so no harm would come to it.

The professor used this story to illustrate that while people like to act as though they are above the belief in fairies and other creatures of magic, questions still remain. Ultimately, the people behind the construction of they highway decided that it was better to be safe than sorry. Why tempt the possibility of fairy wrath, as improbable as that seemed, if it could be avoided with some slight plan alterations?

I sat in that class listening to this and thought that it was possibly the greatest thing I had ever heard.

It’s easy to dismiss tales of magic and paranormal creatures as being the stuff of children’s stories, but maybe there’s a reason that so many similar creatures show up in the folklore of so many different culture in so many different locations. Now, I’m not saying that I have absolute faith in the existence of fairies, I just don’t want to rule it out. And nothing made me happier than knowing that the people of Ireland also weren’t ready to rule definitively against the existence of the wee folk, even when it was probably exceedingly annoying to change those road plans.

Peter Pan once explained to Wendy, “You see children know such a lot now, they soon don’t believe in fairies, and every time a child says, ‘I don’t believe in fairies,’ there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead.”

I do agree that the amount of information we now have so immediately at our fingertips can make it easier for us to dispel so-called myths. But, as to the rest of it....No offense to Mr. Barrie, and I know good old Peter was a bit of a cocky kid, but this strikes me as a whole lot of arrogant. If fairies exist, I’m guessing the do so regardless of whether or not we choose to believe in them. And probably get a good laugh at us humans thinking that their lives are fueled by nothing more than our good thoughts.

While it may not be the thing keeping their hearts a-tickin’, belief does play some role in the folklore surrounding fairies. Apparently they will only show themselves to people who truly believe. Now, that I can understand. Why would you want to waste all that time convincing the person you were chatting with that you really are real and they don’t need to keep reaching for their anti-psychotic medications?

I, for one, am really going to try and believe. One, because it’s more fun than not believing. Two, because if the construction workers behind that highway in Ireland can entertain the notion, why can’t I? And three, because maybe if I believe hard enough, one day, a fairy might deign to have a chat with me. And, perhaps answer one or two of my floppity-jillion questions.

The gentleman who opposed the highway, Mr. Lenihan, said, “They laugh at you. It’s not sophisticated. But subconsciously, they believe.”

So, here’s to being unsophisticated. Who’s with me?

Banshees: Crying and Combs

Today we’re going to take a look at banshees. In Irish legend, these creatures always show themselves in the forms of women. Sometimes the banshee will take the form of an old crone, other times she will appear as a beautiful woman, either young or middle aged. She is most known for her wail, as the banshee is said to cry out if someone is about to die. Originally, the banshees were believed to only appear to particular Irish families. However, after centuries of marriages, this group has likely expanded.

During her keening, she is not always visible to the living, but whether you see her or hear her, the message is always the same: Death is near. Possibly for you, possibly for a loved one, but regardless, it’s coming. This may seem scary, but the banshee isn’t there to make sure someone dies, just to give you warning so you have time to prepare. Get your affairs in order. Say your goodbyes.

Really, she just providing a public service.

This is not the only legend surrounding the banshees. They are believed to have long pale or auburn hair, which they brush with silver combs. If you take a comb from a banshee, watch out. She is likely to spirit you away, never to return. If you somehow manage to escape her before this, she’s coming for you. She will hunt you down and make your life miserable until she gets you or the comb. Because of this, some find the banshee to be very frightening.

But, let’s just pause for a second and think about this.

To me, it is very reminiscent of our previous conversation on the Wicked Witch of the West. She is considered the villain of that story. Why? Because she won’t accept that it’s okay for someone to have stolen shoes off the corpse of her late sister.

Here’s a crazy thought: Let’s stop stealing from these women.

Now, I’m not defending the manner in which banshees or the Witch handled their respective thefts, but come on. Who likes to have their stuff stolen? Not me. I would find it extraordinarily aggravating. Would my gut reaction be abduction of others? No. These ladies are definitely letting their anger get the better of them and I certainly won’t argue in favor of their methods. All I’m saying is that before we go calling them names, maybe we should take a quick gander in the mirror.

Perhaps it’s just a tad unfair of us to take what doesn’t belong to us and then get all high and mighty about the behavior of those we’ve stolen from.

So, let’s give the not-stealing experiment a go, shall we? Now, if these women continue to behave in the same way, regardless of our lack of theft, go ahead, call them the bad guys. But if you run into one and she doesn’t immediately try to spirit you away, give her a chance. It may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And who wouldn’t want a friend on the other side?


Oh, and one other thing….just invite Maleficent to your parties. Ostracizing her is ultimately going to make everyone feel bad.

Shortcuts to Eloquence Can be Unexpectedly Scary

St. Patrick’s Day is coming and celebrations have already started. People are going to parades….pub crawls….Hallmark sent me an email about chasing leprechauns on their channel….It’s all very exciting. And it’s, naturally, got me thinking about stories. The Irish are renowned for their ability to spin a tale. They also have some pretty awesome folklore on which to base these yarns. In honor of the coming holiday, I’m going to spend the week looking at some different bits and pieces of Irish legends and myths.

During my semester in Ireland, back in 2007, my friend and I spent almost every weekend traveling the country. We didn’t have a lot of time, so we figured we needed to make the most of it. One of our earliest trips was to Blarney Castle. Legend has it that if a person kisses the Blarney Stone, they will be graced with the gift of gab. Being an aspiring writer, I figured I should hedge my bets and we set off to get ourselves that gabby gift.

Here’s what I didn’t do before setting out on my adventure – actually read up on the Blarney Stone. See, in my mind, it was just a big stone, maybe a small boulder. If I’d taken the time to do my research, I would have found that along with providing eloquence, this stone was apparently predicted to be untouchable due to its location. It didn’t just bestow its magical gift on someone because they schlepped out to the castle. No, you had to earn it.

When we arrived at the castle, we first walked around the grounds. It was absolutely beautiful. Once in the castle, we followed signs for the Stone leading us further and further up. We laughed as we ascended the narrow, slippery stairs, holding tight to the rope placed there for our balancing needs. I looked out the windows of the tower and imagined fighting my way past guards to escape my imprisonment by an evil wizard.

We finally reached the top and saw the line of people waiting to kiss the Stone, but we didn’t see the Stone. Still we waited in line, confident that everything would be made clear to our little tourist minds soon. And it was. When we reached the front we saw that in order to kiss the Blarney Stone, we would have to lie on our backs with half our bodies on the stone and the other half balancing out over a narrow abyss. The abyss had a few poles across it to ensure that we wouldn’t plummet to our deaths. Probably.

I was particularly unnerved by the whole hanging my head upside down part. I’m known for my slightly overlarge noggin’ and knew that if anything was going to send me plummeting to the ground below, it was cranium weight. So, I held on to the bars as tightly as humanly possible and hoped that the Irishman there to ensure my balance knew that if I started falling, I was probably taking him with me. No matter how friendly he was.

I’ve had a few years now to assess the outcome of that trip, but I’m still not really sure I was bequeathed the gift of gab. Definitely got a good story out of it, though. Which is generally all that I’m really looking for.