Friday, January 4, 2013

Bad Movies/Good Party Themes: The Haunting Piñata Smash

Have you ever watched a movie that creeped you out and had the sudden desire to smack something? I know I have. Have you ever been at an event and thought, “They call this a party? Then where, pray tell, are all the piñatas?” Again, a situation I have found myself in more times than I’d like to remember. 

Whoever perpetrated the evil rumor that piñatas are just for kids’ parties should be found and forced to wear a sign proclaiming “Killer of fun.” Hell, I’ve even got a piñata in my office. ‘Cause that’s just how Dora and I roll.

 Little known fact: Nothing improves your work day like 
glancing over and seeing a piñata smiling back at you.

Now, The Haunting? Not actually that scary. Which, for me, is saying something because I’m possibly the biggest baby child that ever lived when it comes to this sort of stuff. But I didn’t walk away with any nightmares from this one. Except for that mirror scene. That legitimately gave me the willies.

But this not-so-scary movie actually works well for this theme. Because as you’re sitting there, watching the story unfold, you will undoubtedly suddenly think of scene from a movie that really did scare you. When you do so, share it with the group. And then give a piñata a good whack. You get to take out your anger at the real scary movie, without having to deal with watching the offending scene yet again. Or maybe you really love scary movies and you’re outraged by a line of dialogue, a plot point, or an acting choice? Take it out on the piñata.

Eventually, someone will break a piñata. This is where things will go slightly differently that our childhood experiences. You see, I recommend that everyone does not make a mad dash to pile of treats. One, because we’re older now and less likely to smilingly accept an elbow to the face just because we got some candy out of the deal (see also: Slip and Slide). And two, because we’re inside, and there might be sharp furniture around. In my opinion, parties just lose a little of their fun when someone is bleeding.

So, instead, everyone in the group must offer up one scary fact about themselves. The individual who broke the piñata decides, based on these facts who gets what amount of treats. After they’ve been divvied out, the movie continues and the next piñata is brought out.

Because, like any good horror movie, just because you’ve decapitated the villain, doesn’t mean he’s not coming back again.

Crackerjack dialogue to look forward to:
-          “Purgatory is over, you go to hell.”
-          “Paintings are moving and strange voices are calling for me at night, and all it cost me was five gallons of gas.”
-          “You have to go look for the bones in the fire place.”
-          “It’s like those Teletubbies, those things freak me out also. Then they sing, so they’re actually kinda scarier when you think about it.”

Tagline: Some houses are born bad.

For a The Haunting Piñata Smash of your very own, here’s what you need:
-          The Haunting (1999)
-          Piñatas. I would recommend at least three or four. You can go with all different ones, or stock pile one kind if you want the same villain to keep returning. Go for whatever one you find the creepiest. This one would do it for me, for obvious reasons.
-          Piñata treats. This doesn’t have to be just candy. Find whatever is small enough to fit into the piñata. Bouncy balls, whistles, hand stamps….really I go with anything that can be used to annoy the Roomie in the future.
-          A group of horror movie buffs and/or piñata enthusiasts and/or people about whom you would like to know more scary facts.

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