Rain and Marshmallows

All my hatches are battened down, how about yours?

From all the reports I’m hearing, Hurricane Sandy/Frankenstorm/Frankenstein’s Monstorm/The Snoreastercane is coming at us with a vengeance. So, naturally, I’ve gotten all the necessary provisions for such an event: flashlight, batteries, water and pizza bagels.

I’m feeling pretty good about riding this thing out.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always enjoyed watching storms. I think it all started back in the day when my grandmother used to babysit me and my sister. If it wasn’t raining, we would always play baseball in her backyard. But, if it was? Well, we had two options. Playing in the magic that was the basement (story for another day) or dragging the porch furniture as far away from the screened windows as we could and watching the storm in all of it’s glory.

We’d sit there, grandma in the middle, and scream every time there was thunder or lightning. My sister and I would scream, that is. Grandma would just say, “Holy Cats ‘n’ Jammer Kids!” and hug us a little tighter. And, as we sat there, taking it all in, we’d happily eat Lucky Charms straight out of the box.

I’m not going to sit out on my balcony today. Firstly, the apartment building made us bring everything in, so there aren’t any chairs. Secondly, it’s too small to position myself anywhere that I won’t get soaked.

But, I am going to watch the storm through the screens. And if any thunder or lightning heads our way, I’ll probably take a page from grandma’s book. A quick exclamation of “Holy Cats ‘n’ Jammer Kids!” followed by a couple of marshmallows for good measure.

How about all of you? Any stormy traditions?

Stay safe!

I'd Like To See Some Dead People

Who ya gonna call?

Well, generally my answer to that would be obvious. But today, I’m less interested in getting in touch with the Busters, more with the Ghosts.

You see, there is very little in this world that I would love more than to live somewhere haunted. With a friendly ghost*, of course. I have always been against living with those who are vindictive and cruel, a rule of thumb I have no problem extending to the spirit world.

I’m not saying that the ghost always needs to be a great mood. Of course not. That’s just unreasonable. But I don’t want to have to worry about possession while I’m trying to get the vacuuming done.

Also, while I’d certainly be happy just to pal around with some apparitions, I’m actually in the market for a business arrangement. Basically, I’d like to hire a ghost.

Who better to specialize in home security?

And don’t worry, my translucent friends, I’m not just asking you to sit in the basement and rattle some chains. I would never think of pigeon-holing you in such a stereotypical manner.  

I am looking for a minimum of two ghosts to be responsible for watching over the homestead at all hours. Vacation time can be arranged, but there must always be one ghost on duty. The methods you use to protect the house will be left to your discretion. Payment to be determined.

Bitter, homicidal, or generally ill-tempered specters** need not apply.

If you, or anyone you know, fit this description, please let me know.

~~~~~~~~~~

In other (somewhat) related news, I have a message for the governess: I know you’re not crazy. The ghosts were real.

~~~~~~~~~~

Today’s breakfast recommendation: Boo Berry

~~~~~~~~~~

And, finally….BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE!

* See: Casper, Dennis Pearson, Annie Sawyer, Nearly Headless Nick, etc.

** See: Chucky, Jacob Marley, May, etc.

Monsters or Misunderstood?

Who isn’t talking about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse these days? Just plug the term into Google News and check out how many mentions there have been in the recent weeks.

We’re gearing up, we’re preparing. And though, I personally believe the squirrel threat is more pressing than that of the undead, I do understand the need for precautions.

This threat, after all, is ongoing. They even had issues with it a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. So, it’s clear that this is not just some passing paranoia, but a true obstacle that must be dealt with if we wish to ensure quality of life for those who have yet to die the first time.

But let’s not be too hasty in our zombie slayings, lest we forget that the undead are people too. Sort of. For the most part, I do not believe that these individuals aspired to be zombified (though there are undoubtedly exceptions to this statement).

Sometimes they were dragged from their place of rest by another person of magical inclination, a la Billy Butcherson, in Hocus Pocus.

Now, I don’t know about you, but if someone wakes me up from a deep sleep, I am, to put it mildly, not fit to be around. I would imagine that being called from the dead is slightly more jarring. So, can we really blame zombies for being a little out of sorts when they first rise? And to make matters worse, we never even let them fully clear cobwebs from the old brain pan before we start trying to take their heads off. If someone woke me up without my permission and before I could even focus on what was going on a mob of folks were coming at me with cudgels, to be completely honest, I’d start biting people too. Which brings us to another way to create zombies – biting.

One of those guys takes a chomp out of you and it’s pretty much a done deal. You are on your way to being the living dead, at least until that mob gets to you. Then you’ll just be the dead dead. Which let’s face it, is, as previously illustrated, our own damn fault. If we just let the undead acclimate for five seconds before trying to make them twice dead, maybe we’d find them a little less ornery and likely to eat the flesh from our bones.

I’m not saying to run up and hug them. Keep a safe distance, make sure your armed in case things go sideways. Just give them a moment to breathe.

And definitely, whatever you do, do not run away if they decide to break into dance. That just makes them angry.

Again, this annoyance is understandable. Have you ever be part of a performance? How would you feel if folks up and ran away before you finished? Not great, that’s how. Probably a little put out. So save yourself the terrified running through fixer-uppers and be a good audience member (this is just a good rule in general).

And my last bit of zombie-related advice? Watch Shaun of the Dead.

That is all.

Today’s snacking recommendation: Zombie cupcakes

Bewtiched, Bothered and Bewildered

It’s no secret that I used to be mortally terrified of the Wicked Witch of the West. She was a constant visitor to my worst nightmares. However, over the years, thanks to the efforts of many storytellers, I have come to understand that not all witches are the monsters I thought them to be as a young child.

Glinda was not enough to convince me. After all, she made Dorothy go on the whole long trip, without giving her all the pertinent information. Can’t trust her.

I think the book that really got me thinking about the unfair treatment of witches was The Conjurer Princess by Vivian Vande Velde. I read this one back when I was around eleven. Poor Princess Lylene starts out her quest to save her kidnapped sister by learning magic from a wizard – magic that makes her age rapidly and has her hunted as a witch. Sure, Lylene wasn’t always a paragon of virtue. She made mistakes, got some blood on her hands. But her goals were noble and she was driven by the desire to help her sister.

Shortly after this, I saw Teen Witch for the first time. And you just can’t spend any time with Louise Miller and still think witches are wicked. Pretty sure that it’s an actual impossibility.

After this, I took a look at the witches that had most terrified me back in the day. Each of these women, admittedly, chose some unfortunate ways of expressing their anger, but that doesn’t mean that their anger wasn’t justified.

Yes, the Wicked Witch of the West’s fireballs and kidnapping were a little extreme, but I’d be pretty put out myself if I found some kid robbing my sister’s grave. And no, fattening children up with the intention of eating them should never be a go-to plan, but perhaps Hansel and Gretel shouldn’t have literally started eating the witch out of house and home. Sure, the Sanderson Sisters wanted to suck the lives out of all the children in Salem to ensure their eternal youth, but….Nope, can’t actually find a way to justify that. They were just evil. But, great singers, right?
 

So, today I’m Team Witch. Whether they ride brooms, dance under the moon, own a couple cauldrons and a scrying mirror, run a nightclub, or are just genuine badasses like Minerva McGonagall.

Who are your favorite witches, good, bad or otherwise?

Today’s breakfast recommendation: Gingerbread house (Just make sure no one’s living in it before you start eating).

Eternal Life (on the Page)

We’ve been hanging around vampires for thousands of years. Cultures all over the world and throughout history have spun tales of these bloodsuckers (and apparently honest Abe hunted them). Some of the lore changes from case to case, but a couple things are pretty constant: you don’t really want to meet up with these folks in a dark alley and, despite our long familiarity, on the whole we’re still not bored with these stories yet. At least I’m not, and from the number of vampire stories you can find in your local bookstore, I don’t think I’m alone.

I knew who Dracula was long before I read the book, though I do think The Count was my first real exposure to vampiric culture, followed quickly by Bunnicula. Regardless, by the time I got to readings Bram Stoker’s famous tale, I had a working knowledge of the pale and the petrifying. Unlike, Frankenstein, however, at the end of this book, I was solidly on the side of Harker and Van Helsing. Not only was Dracula a jerky jerk, but Van Helsing’s crew was pretty badass. Not once did they leave me yelling at the book, How could you just assume that everything is going to work out? Where are the precautions? Who are you, Dr. Evil?

Nope. A past lady friend of theirs is turned vampy? Staked through the heart, beheaded and buried with a mouth full of garlic. I mean, I guess they could have doused her body in holy water and set it aflame, but past that, they covered all the bases. Gotta respect that.

Of course, despite my love of this book, I must admit that my true love of vampires began with Buffy. The movie first (who doesn’t occasionally say “Get out of my facial,” a la Hilary Swank?) and then the TV show. It was in the latter where I began to find myself sometimes rooting for the monsters. Not to beat Buffy, of course, but not to be vanquished. And none more so than Spike, a character who was the self-proclaimed “Big Evil” for most of his time on the show. He adored both murder and mayhem, was manipulative and opportunistic, and cultivated what was probably an unhealthy obsession with Passions. And he stole pretty much every scene he was in. 

In conclusion, I’m a little bit more ambiguous as to whether I root for Team Vampire or Team Slayers, than I was regarding the Frankenstein question. But I can say for sure that there are some vampires who I’m happy live to fight another night.

 

Today’s breakfast recommendation: Count Chocula.

It's Not Easy Being Green...Or Made of Dead People's Parts

Sometimes you just have to root for the monster. And the week before Halloween seems like a great time to cue up the cheering squad for five of the most traditional monsters of the season.

Let’s kick things off with good old Dr. Frankenstein’s creation.

When I first read Mary Shelley’s work in middle school, I already knew the basic story. I mean, what kid can make it through eleven Halloweens and not know about Frankenstein’s monster? Of course, at that point I thought the monster was named Frankenstein, so I was a little confused when I found that it was actually the doctor’s name. But I knew the monster would be scary. And he was. He killed people, framed others for murder, and was, all in all, a total terror. That being said, Doc Frankenstein was always far more repugnant to me.

He creates this being and then immediately rejects him because he’s scary looking. The good doctor was smart enough to reanimate bodies, but couldn’t figure out that the eight foot pile of parts he was sewing together wasn’t going to be handsome?

After this total fail of deductive reasoning, he scampers off, leaving the monster to figure things out for himself, which, shock of shocks, doesn’t end well. As the mayhem ensures, Doc Frankenstein laments his actions, saying how it’s all his fault. Woe is he, and all that. Which is all well and good. He did set this ball a-rollin’. But when it comes to taking care of the issue, does he take action? No, he whines and falls ill, gets nursed back to health, makes a few more poor decisions, and then starts the cycle all over again. And all this leaves me wanting one thing, for the poor beast to get his lady friend and be allowed to disappear into the wilderness. 

So, in the grand battle between Team Frankenstein and Team Monster, I’m coming down on the side of Team Monster, despite our champion’s sometimes murderous tendencies.

What about you?

  

Favorite Film Adaptation:

Favorite Television Adaptation:

Today's breakfast recommendation: Frankenberry

Check back in tomorrow. We're going to tackle vampires. (And by tackle, I mean stand at a safe distance reeking of garlic and armed with Super Soakers of holy water, of course.)

Rainy morning dreams

It’s a very rainy fall day. I don’t know about you, but such conditions inspire in me the desire to pull the comforter over my shoulders, trudge out to the couch, curl up and watch some appropriately themed movies.

Now, it’s Friday, so I’m at the office, which means no movies, no couches, and perhaps most horrifyingly, no comforters (and it’s chilly in here).

But that doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream…

So, to that end, here are some of my favorite Halloween season viewing options:

1. Arsenic and Old Lace

You really can’t top Cary Grant. Plus, who doesn’t want to hang out with the Brewster sisters?

2. Hocus Pocus

Witches, zombies, possessed cats and a musical number? All my favorite aspects of Halloween (and, you know, any other day I can get all these things together).

3. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Because I can always count on Linus for some holiday perspective. And even Lucy has some Halloween spirit!

4. Practical Magic

I’m partial to any story that focuses on sisters, but throw in some magic? I’m sold.

5. Casper

Who doesn’t miss 1995? It was really a great year for Christina Ricci/Devon Sawa movies.

No, I don’t like actual scary movies. I’m a total weenie. If I watch them, I just end up spending the night sitting up in the Roomie’s room, throwing things at her face to keep her awake, in case the monsters come. It’s a bad situation for everyone. So, STOP JUDGING my family friendly preferences!

And have a lovely weekend.

Bobbing for Answers

Continuing on with our fall traditions, we’ve got bobbing for apples. Which, to be honest, I always thought was fairly gross.

Come on friends! Stick your face in this bowl/bucket/trough/whatever filled with water of an unfortunate temperature and try to snag an apple that has doubtless already been licked by someone else!

No, thank you.

But, apparently my deep-seated desire not to contract germs from soggy apples has left me woefully uninformed about the future marital bliss of myself and those around me.

Curious as to which of your friends will be the next to tie the knot?

One legend claims that the first person to snag an apple without the aid of their hands will be the next to marry. Another says that the person who got the apple was fated to marry the person who owned said apple.

How about just the general state of future relationships?

Grab that apple on the first try and you are destined for true love. For those not quite as talented at the bobbing, sorry friends, a lot of romantic fickleness awaits you.

And the predictions don’t end once you’ve finally caught that salvia covered apple. Peel in and throw the skin over your shoulder. It’ll land in the shape of your true love’s initial. Or, you could stick it under your pillow, guaranteeing dreams of your future love (or a night of no sleep at all. Because you’ve got a big lumpy apple under your pillow. But definitely one of the two).

But, as it turns out, not all apple bobbing superstitions are focused on marriage.

I just read a tale claiming that by surviving an ordeal by water (and who wouldn’t call fishing around for an apple in a bucket of water in which a bunch of other people have dunked their hair an ordeal?) and capturing an apple, you can gain passage to the land of the fairies. This is only possible on Halloween though, as the boundary between our world and that of magic is weaker than at any other point.

Now, I’m willing to deal with uncertainty surrounding my future marital state (who doesn’t love a good mystery?). But, a chance to visit the fairies? I may need to rethink my position on this whole icky endeavor, at least on the 31st. 

What about you? Feel like bobbing?

Poor Jack and his Turnip Lantern

As a friend recently noted, pretty much everything is pumpkin themed right now. The season of the pumpkin is fairly standard. We start seeing them outside of store fronts in September and most don’t lose their position until the snowmen are rolled out after Thanksgiving. So, it’s pretty much a solid three months of pumpkin-tastic-ness.

October is the height of this pumpkin hysteria and, as such, needs to distinguish itself from the surrounding pumpkin-loving months. And what better way to celebrate All Hallow’s Eve than taking a giant knife to a pumpkin’s face?

I’ve never given much thought to this oddly violent, yet festive tradition. At least nothing past, Haha! You will be an angry pumpkin. And you, sir, will be a happy pumpkin. Oh, they kind of both look the same. Okay….AMBIVALENT PUMPKINS!

But I just found out that the story of the jack-o’-lantern is well deserving of its place on such a spooky holiday. According to Celtic folklore, it all started when some poor sap named Jack tricked the devil. The retelling of the trick varies, but as a result of this shenanigan, the devil agreed not to take Jack’s soul after death. Pretty sweet, right? Not really. Cause Jack wasn’t all that virtuous throughout his life. Due to his tomfoolery, heaven said “No, thanks,” after he died and he was forced to meander around purgatory. To make matters worse, purgatory did not have the best lighting. So, to see where he was going on these endless wanderings, Jack fashioned himself a lantern from a turnip and a lump of flaming coal that the devil tossed him.

In Jack’s honor the Irish used to carve such lanterns in an attempt to guide the spirits wandering the streets on Halloween. Turnips were originally used, but when the Irish came to America after the potato famine, those weren’t as easy to acquire. So, the tradition was kept up with pumpkins.

The only thing I’m still a little unclear on is when we decided that these lanterns should have faces.....

By Dvortygirl, via Wikimedia Commons

But regardless of how the face on this year’s jack-o’-lantern turns out, I’m going to put the brightest burning candle I can find in that sucker in the hopes of leading poor Jack home. Wherever that may be. Because eternity is a long time to wander.

Being Invincible Together

I was in the grocery store this weekend and saw a woman pushing two little boys in a shopping cart. One sat in the actual seat section, the other in the main part of the cart. As they rolled by me, the woman asked, “How are you guys doing?”

As if this was their cue, both boys raised their fists victoriously into the air. The little boy in the front of the cart took it a step further, shouting one simple sentence:

“We are invincible!”

He then high-fived the boy in the back of the cart.

The woman paused for a second, then started laughing, said “That’s good,” and kept on moving down the isle.

Now, I don’t know if the power of riding in a grocery chariot of their very own was going to their head. Maybe there had been a number of things in their Sunday that bolstered their feelings of being unbeatable, leading to that one perfect moment. Or perhaps, it was the simple fact that they were together.

I am certainly a fan of the stalwart heroes and heroines who must travel their path alone, but I have to admit I’m a real sucker for stories of teams. They don’t have to start off as teams, but by the end the disparate group of individuals finds a way to come together and is stronger for it.

I mentioned last week my love of the Star Wars X-Wing series. This is why. As individuals, each of the characters in these stories are interesting and flawed. They could probably each carry their own story. And that’s great, but as a group they're unbeatable.

There are a lot of examples of this. The crew of Serenity, the Avengers, Five-0, the Animorphs, the Planeteers (I mean, what are all the natural elements without a little heart, am I right?), this list just goes on and on. All filled with awesome individuals, all better when viewed as a team.

Stories where an individual saves the day on their own are great and awe-inspiring, but they’re not always relatable. (I know, “relatable” sounds a little weird when most of my examples have to do with interspecies air forces and extraterrestrial emergencies, but, bear with me.) Odds are very few of us get through the bad times of our lives all alone. I know I haven’t. And this leaves me partial to the stories that show the benefits of interdependence – that illustrate that asking for help doesn’t make someone less of a hero, it just makes him or her less alone in their heroics.

So, wishing you an awesome Tuesday where you feel exactly like those two little boys – surrounded by all the people who make you invincible.