Monday, July 21, 2014

Knocking Blocks Down to Build Them Back Up

I’ve discovered something about my young nephew – nothing enrages him more than when I construct a tower of toys. No matter where he is in the room, he immediately bee-lines for my neat little stack of blocks and knocks them right the hell down.

If I manage to get them back up as he wobbles away, I am graced with a “are you f*&^ing kidding me?” look as he backtracks to destroy my creation once again with gleeful abandon.

When it comes to writing, I’m somewhat similar to my nephew in that sense. It’s all well and good for me to actually write a story, but the fun lies in tearing it all apart again when I’m done. Editing and revising? My favorite parts of writing. I love knocking all the blocks down and seeing where they fall. Only, unlike my nephew, I also love building it back up again. I keep at this process of destruction and rebuilding over and over again, until I charge at the story and find myself running into a wall I just can’t quite topple.

So, I’m off to do some glorious, bloody editing. While I’m hacking away, though, I thought I might leave you with the next round of awesome mythological creatures that the U.S. boasts.


This fellow is a corn spirit connected to Miccosukee and Seminole tribes. He generally appears as a dwarf and gifts people with corn. Of course, they honor him for this. How could they not? Who, in their right minds, doesn’t love corn?


Is it a bear? A panther? A lion? Nope. This guy appears to be a mix of all three. The glawackus is one of the “fearsome critters” of lumberjack lore and is thought to be native of Connecticut and Massachusetts. If the pantliobear description isn’t enough to keep you from going camping, then let me also warn you, the glawackus is known for his blood-curdling screams – so, bring headphones or something.

Hudson River Monster

I’m so disappointed in myself. I’m a native New Yorker and somehow I was unaware that the Hudson River was home to a cryptid described as looking like an unusually large manatee. When you consider the fact that a manatee can weigh over 1,000 pounds, an “unusually large” one would be sizable. And I missed him! The only consolation I have is that he was spotted various times in 2006 and I was down in DC at that point. Not that my location is really any excuse. I mean, his name is Kippy! I should have known about this. I have no one to blame but myself.


This race of little people (akin to fairies) come from Eskimo legends. They’re about a foot tall. As they leave no footprints in the snow, they are believed to float just above the ground when they travel.


Another “fearsome critter” for the list! These fellows appear to call Michigan their home. They’re hard to miss, seeing as rabbits with deer antlers tend to draw attention. This becomes especially true when they start boozing it up. Jackalopes are big whiskey fans, so if you too call this your drink of choice, you’re going to want to watch that they don’t steal it. Of course, they are also able to mimic any sound. Undoubtedly, if you hear your friend calling your name, you will turn back to find your drink disappeared.

That draws today’s discussion of weird and wacky American tales to a close. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some blocks to knock down.

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