Most Horrifying of Horror Stories

You know that part in the story where the beleaguered, terrorized babysitter finally puts all the pieces together and realizes that the calls are indeed coming from inside the house? Well, we all might find ourselves in that position soon.

One dark, dreary evening, the phone will ring. You pick it up, assuming it’s a friend calling to schedule a long overdue Quantum Leap marathon, but instead you’re faced with the enemy.

You won’t realize it right away, of course.

At first, you’ll just take the silence to mean that the call was dropped, but then you’ll hear it. A light scratching. The slight hissing of breath. The munching of acorns.

Your stomach twists, because even though you’ll wish it wasn’t so, that maybe one of your friends is just playing a cruel trick, you’ll know.

And then the chattering will start. But you don’t just hear it through the phone now. It’s coming faintly from the other room.

It’s coming from inside the house.

Despite what your gut tells you – despite the number of times you’ve cursed at fictional characters for doing exactly what you’re about to – you’ll move slowly, carefully towards the sound.

The chattering gets louder, amplified even further by the call you’ve forgotten to end.

You push the door open and there it is. The visage of your nightmares. A monster disguised as furry cuteness.

And it’s presence isn’t even the worst part.

This beast has got skills. Death-defying skills.

Just ask these Germans:

You may find yourself in awe of the Superman-like talents of the beast. Fight that. This is what they want. For us to feel fragile simply because we can’t jump four stories and keep running.

We’re in the trenches of mental warfare now. So, don’t let them get in your head! As long as we continue to fight, there’s hope.

Stay strong, friends.