Monday, July 9, 2012

The Reese's Assessment

I have aliens on the brain.

This can be said of me at pretty much any time during the year. But, considering all the aliens in the news lately, how could I be thinking of anything else?

It started last week, when some friends and I discovered that National Geographic conducted a survey asking Americans who, of the presidential candidates, they thought would better handle an extraterrestrial invasion. Then, of course, came the traditional Fourth of July viewing of Independence Day. And finally, we came up on yesterday’s 65th anniversary of the “Roswell Incident.”

Reading about all this prompted a lengthy discussion with the friends over the possibility of aliens. So, not only am I comforted by the fact that we’re finally asking politicians the important questions, but I now also have a better understanding of where my buddies stand on the existence of aliens. Of the seven of us involved in this dialogue, only one was adamant in her disbelief. The rest ranged along the spectrum, with me coming in solidly on the ‘yay’ side.

Naturally, this conversation evolved into the “friend or foe” dilemma. So, being the highly educated group we are, we turned to the most objective of sources to argue our sides – the movies. Some of the ladies were of the belief that no good could come of an alien visitation. After all, that jerk of an alien said “No peace,” didn’t he? And even in terms of the friendlier ones...sometimes their written work can be a little misleading.

While I acknowledge this possibility, I’m not quite ready to completely write off the chance of peaceful relations. Here’s how I see it, the movies that show large groups of aliens generally portray them as aggressive, but the movies that look at individual aliens show that they're more complex than that. E.T. was a great friend. Wiploc, Zeebo, and Mac were just looking for a good time. know....Superman. That stalwart Kryptonian pretty much seals the deal on my willingness to put a little faith in those alien folk.

The problem is mob mentality. Get a giant group of aliens together, all juiced up on the adrenaline rush of intergalactic travel and yeah, there’s a good chance things are going to go sideways. But the same can be said of humans. Look at all the movies that don’t have aliens in them. Individuals can be shining examples, but broaden the focus to a huge group of people and morality and goals get a little bit murkier.

So, I say, if aliens ever decide to swing by, keep an open mind. And maybe some Reece’s Pieces on hand. And if they reject the chocolatey peanut-buttery goodness? First check to see if they have a peanut allergy. You don’t want to be starting an intergalactic incident over them not wanting to break out in hives. But if there are no allergies? Go to plan B and shoot your way out of there. Because they can’t be trusted.*

*This rule can also be applied to humans. Seriously, who doesn’t like Reece’s Pieces??

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