Friday, April 13, 2012

Happy Friday the 13th!

I know that, traditionally, this is thought of to be a not so great day. But it’s always been one of my favorites. No triskaidekaphobia here! And it’s a good thing too, as I turned 13 on Friday the 13th. (We went to a Japanese restaurant where the waiter juggled knives. Show no fear!)

Of course, not being a particularly superstitious person doesn’t make superstitions any less interesting. So, in honor of the day, I offer you thirteen:

1. It is bad luck to wish an actor “Good Luck!” before a performance. Always say “Break a Leg!” (Strangely enough, Roomie never seems to appreciate this when I yell it to her before her soccer games.)

2. Never place shoes on a table as it means bad luck for the remainder of the day. (Also, it’s not all that hygienic.)

3. Put a pair of open scissors under your pillow for good luck and to keep away evil spirits. (Yeah. There’s no way that’s going to end badly.)

4. Never invite a door knocker to come in without seeing who is there first. It might be an evil spirit. (Or just a jerky person. Which would be worse.)

5. If you eat from the pot, it will rain at your wedding ceremony. (Looks like I’m fated for an indoor wedding. Thanks a lot, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese!)

6. If you start to go somewhere and come back for something, you will have bad luck. (Seems like you’ve already had it with the whole forgetting something issue.)

7. If your ears itch, someone is speaking of you. (If you find this happening regularly, it is likely you are super popular. But consider consulting a dermatologist. Could be eczema.)

8. If bird excrement lands on you, it is good luck. (See, this just sounds like someone trying to make themselves feel better. Sorry, Roomie, but I'm looking at you.)

9. Dream of a birth, someone will soon die. Dream of a death, a baby is coming. (That wily Sandman. Always trying to keep us on our toes.)

10. If a bird flies toward you, bad fortune is imminent. (I once had a seagull swoop down and steal an entire sandwich out of my hands. Certainly seemed like bad fortune to me. Of course, I can’t think of too many situations where an animal charging you is going to end well.)

11. A horseshoe hung in the bedroom will keep nightmares away. (Particularly if you hang it above your bed on a shoddy nail. That thing falls on you, you’re pretty much guaranteed a dream free night. And a headache in the morning.)

12. You can break a bad luck spell by turning seven times in a clockwise circle. (Of course, you’ll probably end up vomiting. So figure out which is the lesser of the evils before you make any decisions.)

13. If you read a fortune from a fortune cookie before eating the cookie completely, you will have bad luck. (This is possibly the only superstition I adhere to and I’m 99.9999% sure that my brother made it up to see how gullible I am. Turns out the answer is very. Still eat the full cookie before reading my fortune.)

Hope your day is full of whatever you believe to be the most lucky!

Squirrel Menace Update: Beware the Night Squirrels.

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