I'm going to be away from the computer today and won't be able to post. I can already picture the one tear rolling gracefully down your cheek as you read this and realize that you will have to go a full day without my magical words. Or maybe you just stubbed your toe. It's really 50/50.
Regardless, in my absence do not forget that the battle against the Squirrel Menace continues. The best advice I can give you at this point is to avoid wearing outfits entirely of pink. This drives the squirrels to delirium. They are unable to stop themselves from latching on to your shoulder and attempting to engage in a staring contest. There are very few who can beat them in such a feat. My best advice if you find yourself in such a situation is to stare forward, avoiding the demon gaze of the vermin, and let out your best pigeon coo. With any luck, one of Winkie's descendants will hear you and come to your aid.
Best of luck, my friends. I shall return soon.