Let Us Eat Pancakes

Today is one of the greatest holidays of all the holidays…National Pancake Day. That’s right, folks, it’s the day when eating pancakes is not just delicious, but celebratory. And while, I’ve mentioned I’m not much of a breakfast in the morning type of person, I am a staunch supporter of breakfast foods for dinner.

And who can really turn their nose up at pancakes?

Pretty much no one in the history of humanity. Which is probably why pancakes were one of the most common cereal-type foods of prehistoric society.* That’s right folks, those guys gave us the wheel, the application of fire AND pancakes. Kind of makes all our accomplishments pale a little in comparison, doesn’t it?

And, I for one, find pancakes much more impressive than sliced bread, so that saying’s going to change.

I mean, imagine if someone said to you, “You’re the best thing since pancakes.” How flattered would you be? I’d be pretty damn flattered.

Pancakes also show up in folklore. From Norway and Germany, we get pancakes, with penchant for rhyming and alliteration, respectively, on the run. One of the German pancakes is actually quite the philanthropist, willingly sacrificing itself for some starving orphans.

Russia offers us a cautionary tale of greed and a magic handmill which can provide a never-ending supply of pancakes. Who wouldn’t be greedy in the face of such treasure? And then there’s the one about the gossip and the pancake tree. The classic and heart-warming tale of a man, his treasure, and his efforts to make his wife appear insane.

This phenomenal breakfast food can even give you a heads up on whether or not you’re going to get married – provided you have some livestock. Just throw a short stack to the rooster. If he calls the hens over before eating, you’re as good as hitched. If not, you’ll still be able to get up and dance when Beyonce calls for all the single ladies (or gents). If you think it’s unfair that a greedy rooster can determine your relationship status, I suggest you stop throwing him flapjacks and invite other people over for your breakfast feast.

Now, I need to go pick up batter for tonight’s pancake dinner. And, of course, locate my pancake molds.

Wishing you the most wonderful of National Pancake Days! May pancakes waft from the sky to your plate, a la Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs before the climate change.

* Check out the Oxford Companion to Food (1999) or Martin Jones’ Feast: Why Humans Share Food (2008). You’ll look all sorts of educated, whilst in your mind screaming “PANCAKES, PANCAKES, PANCAKES.” At least, that’s what is generally going through my head when I read non-fiction. Regardless of the relevancy.