So, there’s this commercial. Pretty sure it’s for mattresses. Not positive though because I always stop paying attention after the first line.
I just can’t help it.
A woman’s slightly-stilted voice is heard over the scene playing out on the screen:
“There are no mass-produced humans…”
I think after this she goes on to talk about the need for individual mattresses, but again, I can’t say that with certainty because in my mind her sentence is finished like this:
“…or are there?”
And my mind wanders off into the garden of insanity and I’m picturing this as the opening to a trailer for a movie about clones and the evil overlords who crank them out. I see rows and rows of incubation pods and as the camera passes over them, they all have the same face.
When ready, the pods are zoomed down to another part of the factory and cracked open. Out walks a completely functioning human, ready to address whatever task he was created to deal with in the first place.
And out he walks into the land of unsuspecting, non-mass-produced humans. They’ll never know what hit them.
Then I return to what the kids these days are calling reality and the commercial is over. But the next time it’s up in the rotation….I’m back with the clones.
The only thing that sometimes changes is whether or not the evil overlords are aliens or apes. (I try not to think of squirrels. It's just too real to me.)
On pretty much every level, this ad is ineffective in growing my interest in the product being sold. But I get excited every time it comes on because, damn it all, I want more information on the conspiracy to cover up the whole mass-produced human project.
And also because I sometimes like to repeat that first line in a robot voice.
Seriously, try it.