Thursday, January 17, 2013

Only Reasonable Conclusion: My iPod's Watching Me

I don’t know what was going on with my iPod this morning.

I like to leave it on shuffle for the drive. I get to listen to a variety of different musical genres and without fail have one I-totally-forgot-I-had-this-album! moment.

Sometimes the iPod Shuffle gods are very good to me. Monday, for instance, started with two songs from Footloose and some Jackson 5. Tell me who wouldn’t be pumped to start the week after that?

Apparently as the week has progressed the gods have decided that they are as tired as the rest of us. In what I can only imagine is an effort to pump some new lifeblood into the week, it would appear they deemed this morning “Creeper Thursday.”

I mean, it started off fine. Just the normal mix of jazz, ‘90s pop, showtunes and oldies. Fine and dandy. Then about fifteen minutes in, things took a turn for the disturbing.

It started with the immediately recognizable opening chords of “Sunglasses at Night.” But it didn’t play the full song. I guess it didn’t download entirely into iTunes, so what I got was “I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can watch you weave then breathe your story lines.” And then total silence for about five seconds.

Sweet, merciful heavens, are you watching me breathe now? Are you in the car??

After those five seconds of silence, I was rewarded with “Every Breath You Take.” Not better.


Generally speaking, I don’t find the Backstreet Boys particularly intimidating, but when “As Long As You Love Me” came on the heels of the other two songs, I couldn’t stop my brain from taking me down a dark path.

Do you really not care what I did or are you just saying that so I don’t ask you what you did? What did you do?!?!?

And then a song from my Christmas mix came on. The risk you run with the shuffle. I was coming up to a red light, so I knew I’d be able to turn it quickly (after January 2nd and before Thanksgiving – no Christmas music!). Unfortunately, not quickly enough. Heard enough of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” to know that the “baby” in question was soon going to be asking “What’s in this drink?”

Never a question anyone should have to ask.

But I did get to change it before the light turned green. So, problem solved. Until I realized that the song that came on next was Good Charlotte’s “My Bloody Valentine.”

Why do I even have all these songs on my iPod?!?!?

Finally, I was pulling up to the parking structure. Rolled down the window to badge in, said hello to a coworker, rolled the window back up just in time to realize that my iPod was blasting “Backdoor Lover” from Josie & The Pussycats.

To quote Don Lockwood, “Dignity. Always dignity.”

On the plus side, I was very happy to get to work. So, I guess the shuffle gods did their job after all. Next time though, let’s just stick with fun and peppy in the morning, shall we?

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