Thursday, February 9, 2012

Apparently, Dream Me is a real jerk

When I was a little kid, waiting at the bus stop with my sister, it was not uncommon for her to refuse to speak to me. Now, for the most part, we always got along really well. But I lost count of the mornings where we would stand there, waiting to go to school and she would shoot me angry looks. The reason was always, invariably, the same. I had done something really, really mean to her… her dream.

I’m not sure why Dream Me was always such a constant jerk (maybe because Real Me was at times an inadvertent one), but I do know that ended up apologizing for her shenanigans more than once. After it was all sorted out, I would remind my sister than it hadn’t really been me who did all the mean things and she would respond that she knew. But her cute little, scrunched face would still have the lingering traces of suspicion.

I would like to say that over the years, Dream Me became a more well adjusted, kinder dream personality (I mean, she can fly if she wants to. Change her clothes with only a thought. What’s she got to be all angry about?). Sadly, this is not the case. She’s still out there, wreaking havoc in the subconscious of others. And not just my sister anymore.

I was told that just the other day Dream Me and Dream Dad ganged up against my mother. In an attempt to stop our meanness, my mom apparently told us that when my sister got there, she would be on my mom’s side. Dream Me responded, “We’ll see about that,” which, let’s face it, just sounds ominous. Mom woke up before she could find out what Dream Me had planned. Probably a good thing.

I know there are more people out there who have problems with their Dream Thems, but Dream Me has just gotten out of control. So, at this point I would like to offer a blanket apology to anyone who has been the victim of Dream Me. I don’t know how many of you there are. What I do know is that she is a loose cannon. I will try to talk to her, get her to behave more appropriately, but my efforts have been for naught in the past. My best advice to you is that if you see Dream Me taking a walk through your sleepy reverie, run. Run as quickly as your little dream feet will take you. However, if it turns out to be one of those nightmares where you try to run and instead find that your feet have turned into blocks of cement and you can only move in slow motion…well…just try not to listen to her.

Quick message to Dream Me, if you’re reading this – Stop getting Real Me in trouble or I'm going to come looking for you.

**Squirrel Menace Update: This may be where their animosity for humans began.**

No comments:

Post a Comment