Monday, February 27, 2012

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Amusement Factor

Recently, there has been a serious upswing of people walking past my office whilst talking to themselves. As they never look at me, I'm assuming their comments are not meant for my ears, but rather, I’m just a lucky bystander. Needless to say, I’m thrilled with this development.

My favorite thus far has been one gentleman’s “We’re running out of time.” Now, I suppose it’s possible that this had something to do with a work assignment that he was feeling particularly overwhelmed by. However, given the hushed tone in which it was delivered and the fact that there was no one in the hallway to whom he was addressing the comment, I don’t think it’s outside of the realm of possibility that perhaps he was sporting some kind of earpiece and chatting with a mysterious third party. Perhaps a pilot with a drinking problem. Or maybe he escaped a mysterious island and he and the other survivors are trying to decide how to best protect the people he left behind. It’s also possible that he might be part of a team using paranormal slime and national landmarks to fight tyrants coming out of paintings. You just never know. It could just be that he’s worried about the impending squirrel attack. And rightly so.

Whatever the reasoning behind his muted exclamation, I appreciated it. Really raised the stakes on my day – possibly more so than a dramatic pause would have, though that’s debatable. All I know is that later, when Roomie asked me what I wanted to do for lunch, I was inspired to stand up and face dramatically away from her as I emotionally discussed our options. And it felt right.

So, many thanks to the numerous whispering individuals in my office for assisting me in my goal to make my life more melodramatic. My door is always open. Please feel free to continue your Gollum-like utterances in the surrounding area.

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