Monday, March 25, 2013

Literary Celebrity Deathmatch

Do you remember this MTV show from the late ‘90s? Claymation celebrities would face off in the ring and quite literally rip each other apart.

Well, I’m going to be honest with you, sometimes I think about book characters this way. Complete with claymation features. And I wonder who would win in a fight.

Take for instance, two of the most classic female heroines, Jane Eyre and Elizabeth Bennet.

In an all-out fight, who would walk away victorious?

Let’s first look at the contenders:

Ms. Eyre:
She had a very difficult upbringing and as a result is a little socially awkward, but very independent. This independence is not simply something she strived for, but a necessity for her survival. And looking at her life, Ms. Eyre is nothing if not a survivor. A trait that would serve her well in the ring. That being said, Ms. Eyre is also exceedingly moral. She is likely not to approve of physical altercations, which may lead to delay in her ring reactions that could result in defeat.

Ms. Bennet:
Though at times dissatisfied with her family, she has lived a fairly happy life, free of turmoil. Her lowest point is when her younger sister makes a dumb decision regarding a gentleman caller. Added to this, though Ms. Bennet is frequently frustrated by those around her, there is rarely a situation where she is left entirely on her own to deal with. When given the choice she is independent, but situations in her life frequently require interdependence. That she is used to such support could work against her in the ring. However, she is more open-minded than Ms. Eyre and while certainly not immoral, more flexible. For instance, she would probably be more willing to alter her skirts, giving her room to sweep the leg. Which always comes in handy in such fights as these. 

Honestly, I do think this would be a rather fair fight. Still, while I would probably rather be best friends for life with Elizabeth, I think I’d have to put my money on Jane for the fight. I think her morality would ensure that she wasn’t taking any cheap shots, but when the chips are down Ms. Eyre already knows how to survive. Ms. Bennet would probably learn more about that from this fight than she has from any other event in her life (that is, if she walked away from it intact).

Who would you bet on?


  1. Elinor Dashwood? lol Just kidding. I loved both characters, but I'd have to go with Jane, too. She's a fighter. Elizabeth didn't really fight for anything. Did she? I mean, she would've let Darcy go.

    1. True. If it was a battle of smart, pithy comments, I'd be on Elizabeth's side. But a physical fight? Jane is just better equipped.