Monday, June 4, 2012

The Prohibition of Urban Equine Hiking

There’s a hiking path not too far from my apartment. Being in a city, there aren’t a ton of these, so I tend to take note when I see one. This path is of particular interest to me because right at the start of it is a sign that reads, “Walking Path, No Horses.”

Now, I’ve lived in this city for many a year. Do you have any idea how many horses I’ve seen in this time? Nary a one. But clearly someone thought equine hiking to be a big enough issue to merit the commissioning of signage.

Which leaves me with just one question….where are all these hiking horses?

When I first started college, I remember feeling like I didn’t want to go to sleep because I was sure the second I did, something super awesome would happen that everyone would be talking about the next day. And I would have missed out on it and all subsequent inside jokes. So, I avoided sleeping. Which was probably why I courted a fairly constant cold that entire year. Well, lack of sleep coupled with a diet of pizza, grilled cheese, and any other food that involved almost solely cheese and bread.

By the time sophomore year rolled around, the manic need to be in on everything had, thankfully, subsided. At that point I figured, Forget it. I’m sleepy. If something epic happens, they can tell me about it tomorrow. And there weren’t too many stories, so I figured I wasn’t really missing out on too much.

Now, I think I was wrong about that. That not only were supremely exciting things happening after my bedtime, but that they involved horses. And hiking. So much of it, in fact, that someone was all, For heavens sake, we need to put a stop to all those kids and their late night horse hiking. It’s just getting absurd. I know! A sign! That’ll stop them.

And, of course, being the rule following folk that they are, it did. And they were probably so bummed about having to move their horses out from under their loft beds, and back into actual stables somewhere outside of the city, that it was just too painful to talk about. Which is why I never heard anything about these nocturnal rides.

Now I feel a little bad about how angry I was thinking that all my friends had horse hiked without me. With them being heart-broken about losing their horse privileges and all. But, at least that’s one mystery solved, right?*

*There is also the very slim possibility that the sign is referring to the horses stabled in the park which the hiking trail runs through. ‘Cause apparently they have a Horse Center I just found out about. So, it could be that. But I’m kinda leaning towards the late night college kid horse hiking theory.

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