For all you beach-goers out there, I offer you this piece of advice…Don’t go in the water. J.Kidding, that’s not really it. Though, if I’m being honest, I’m still freaked out by Jaws. And rightly so.
After that movie, sharks really had a name for themselves as the terrors of the beach. But, don’t let all the hype fool you. They’re not the real danger.
So, here’s my actual advice…Beware the Gulls.
Those brazen little creepers are out to get you. (Or at least your food.)
A few years ago, I was having a nice lunch on the beach with my mother and sister. Just minding my own business. I took out my egg salad sandwich and was just about to bite into it, when the attack came from above.
The seagull swept down and took the ENTIRE sandwich out of my hands. The. Whole. Thing. He was like the Grinch taking that last can of Hoo Hash.
And if that weren’t bad enough, one of his brethren came over and tried to rifle through my sister’s purse. Almost pilfered a chapstick. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for us meddling kids.
I know what you’re thinking, But that was years ago. I’m sure they’ve mellowed with age.
Only last week a friend on the other side of the world had her sandwich wrenched from her grasp.
Now, I’m not saying to start fights with seagulls. Not at all. We’re going to need their aerial prowess when the struggle against the Squirrel Menace reaches a head.
Just be careful.
And maybe eat your sandwiches inside. Or, at least make enough to share.